


Appetency

by AmarahOsiris



Category: Outlander (TV), Outlander Series - Diana Gabaldon
Genre: Also on Tumblr, Angst with a Happy Ending, Cross-Posted on Tumblr, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Frank is an asshole, Friends to Lovers, I don't like him at all, Mutual Pining, again im not sorry, ambulance life, claire is a doctor, excessive use of A&E, feel things with me, i did this job for over a decade, jamie is a paramedic, love these tropes, medic life, not sorry, proud, retired paramedic turned writer, tumblr: sassenachlife, ultimate dumpster fire
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-04
Updated: 2019-09-24
Packaged: 2020-07-29 13:04:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 12
Words: 30,729
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20082670
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmarahOsiris/pseuds/AmarahOsiris
Summary: appetency- (n.) intense desire or a strong, natural craving; chemical attractionWhile Claire Beauchamp thrives as an A&E doctor at Raigmore Hospital in Inverness, she knows something is missing in her life. Something simple, yet crucial. Her life outside the hospital is sparse, save for the few fellow workers she calls friends. That changes when she finds herself staring into the ocean blue eyes of the Scottish Ambulance Service’s newest paramedic.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Seeing as I lived the life of a paramedic for over a decade, it’s only natural I write a tropey, flansty, Modern AU mutual pining/friends-to-lovers series featuring our favorite Scottish Highlander and his beloved Sassenach. But seeing as I was an American paramedic, this required a bit of research into how medics do their jobs across the pond in the NHS world. I hope this quenches any mutual pining thirst you may have had!
> 
> Also, Shoutout to @happytoobserve for her love and beta skills and @thefraserwitch for encouraging this!

* * *

At twenty seven, Claire Beauchamp had accomplished quite a lot for herself. She was the youngest to graduate from medical school with her specialty being emergency medicine. She’d racked up awards and noteriety while in school and that recognition landed her a well paying job at Raigmore Hospital in Inverness, Scotland. She could’ve gotten a job in England, where she was from, but she didn’t feel like she had a real home there. Growing up, she’d spent her childhood and life traveling with her uncle, Lambert Beauchamp, or “Lamb” as he was affectionately known to her.

The uncle and niece duo eventually settled in Oxford after Lamb’s health started to fail. He sadly passed away while she was in her third year of medical school. She was given time to properly settle his final affairs and bury him, but then it was back to hitting the books. Despite the amount of grief losing her unintentional parent caused her, she still managed to get top marks and graduate on time. Then it was off to complete three years of residency in a hospital in London. Working around the clock, tending to patients and learning all she could, it was no wonder she excelled in the medical field.

Back then, Claire felt she had a decent life outside of medicine and working. But now...all she did was work. Hell, her flat had become nothing more than a place she slept, ate, and showered when she wasn’t on call. As for friends? Well..did work colleagues count as friends? Sure, of course they do. Geillis Duncan, another emergency room doctor, took her out for drinks when she noticed it was needed. That’s what friends did, right? Claire didn’t know.

That didn’t matter right now. The young doctor was completely swamped at work. Patient after patient, both walk ins and ambulance arrivals, had her the busiest she’d been all year. Some were minor things, cases that probably should have gone to a minor injury unit rather than an already overcrowded A&E, but Claire didn’t get to choose which patients she saw or didn’t see. She worked on each case diligently, giving each patient the attention they needed, and moved on, just as her training taught her.

Towards the end of the shift, Geillis noticed her fellow doctor needed a night out. So she gathered up the English lass and they set out to find a pub with their name on it.

\---

“I’m teelin’ ye, Claire, wot ye need is a good shagging! One night stand dinna get the credit they deserve nowadays. It’ll solve all yer problems fer ye!” Geillis said, sloshing her third whisky around in her glass as she spoke.

Claire regarded her for a moment before sipping on her martini. Despite getting accustomed to life in Scotland fairly quickly, she still wasn’t a big whisky fan. Good thing Geillis didn’t seem to pick her friends based on their alcohol preference.

“I don’t know, Geillis,” Claire sighed, “with my schedule, it seems I don’t even have time for  _ that! _ I’m hopeless, aren’t I?”

“Nay, not hopeless...just...” Geillis looked Claire up and down, “stressed. Now, if ye canna find a good man to shag ye thorough, a few more martinis will definitely make ye forget yer as worried as ye feel.  _ Slàinte mhath! _ ” Geillis drained her glass. “C’mon! This pub is dead. Let’s go back tae my place fer a glass of port.”

Claire followed Geillis back to her apartment two blocks from the pub, and they spent most of the night drinking and talking. Yeah...this is what it was like to have friends.  _ Good thing I don’t have to go back to work til tomorrow night,  _ Claire thought.

\---

“Morning, lads,” Dougal MacKenzie, Director of Operations for the Scottish Ambulance Service, addressed the morning crews in the large mess hall at the station. Everyone more or less muttered their ‘good morning' grumbles to their boss. “It is my distinct pleasure, and personal pride, to introduce our newest paramedic. My nephew, Jamie Fraser.”

Said nephew, with all of his six-foot-four, red headed, Highlander physique, stood there in his dark green Scottish Ambulance Services uniform in front of everyone feeling like a small child being left at school for the first time. Sure, he was as green as they came (the term used for brand new medics fresh out of school), but he was hoping his skills being put to the test would rally some confidence in this new brotherhood. He’d heard the stories from his uncle and even his father, the late Brian Fraser, a firefighter who died in the line of duty a few years ago, about how the more experienced paramedics and ambulance attendants picked on and teased the newer members of their force.

“‘Ello,” Jamie said with a small wave of his hand, his voice slightly shaky, “lookin’ ferward tae workin’ with ye lot.”

Nobody batted an eyelash at him, and none of them certainly reciprocated his greeting. Jamie sighed and looked at his uncle, who just nodded, signalling him to sit down with the rest of the group while he went over the morning briefing.

He knew all about how a shift was supposed to run. In the morning, all the units were to be washed, rain or shine, and the station was to be cleaned. Floors vacuumed, swept, and/or mopped, rubbish taken to the outside bins, sheets on the crew quarters’ beds changed and rotated, dusting, et cetera. Any patient care reports, or PCRs, were to be finished and submitted online. After that, the crew was given leisure to do whatever they wanted, so long as they did it on site. Though, with the Inverness station being very busy, those down time moments were few and far between. True, they weren’t as busy as say Edinburgh or Glasgow, which were major cities, but still. 

Jamie was thankful he got a job at an exclusively emergency 999 ambulance service and not a private, non-emergency one. Every call that came in would be on the fly. No pre-scheduled transports to and from the local auld folks homes.  _ If I wanted tae shuffle the auld around, I would’ve become a nurse, no a paramedic, _ Jamie thought smugly. Though that smugness didn’t last long as he was ordered to clean all the floors at the station. The guys there weren’t overtly mean, but he knew, as the newcomer, it would take a while to get it all done. Inverness SAS was by no means a small building.

Three hours later, he was wringing out the mop and putting away the supplies. Unbeknownst to him, he would remain bored throughout the first half of his 24 hour shift. It wasn’t until closer to nine o’clock when he heard it. Comms’ booming voice could be heard throughout the entire station, even outside.

_ A call. _

_ “Respond to breathing problem. Respond to breathing problem. Drakes Primary School on Drumossie Avenue. Drakes Primary School on Drumossie Avenue. Time out 2038 hours.” _

Jamie grabbed his company issued coat, with the reflective embossed words “PARAMEDIC” and an equally reflective Scottish Ambulance Service logo below it, and threw it on as he got into the passenger’s seat of the ambulance. His partner for the day, Rupert MacKenzie, another paramedic and a distant cousin, hopped into the driver’s seat and started the rig.

“Ye ready fer yer first call as a greenie, lad?” Rupert asked, putting on his seatbelt and flicking on the emergency lights.

“As I’ll ever be, cousin,” Jamie replied, buckling his own seatbelt and grabbing the dash-mounted laptop to pull up the call’s information. Because they were going to a primary school, he was concerned it was a child, possibly with asthma. But the data sheet stated it was a “37 year old female with no medical history.”  _ Could be an allergic reaction tae something,  _ Jamie said as they made their way down the road, lights and sirens showing the public they needed to move aside to let them pass.

“What’s it say,” Rupert asked loudly over the sounds of the ambulance.

“Most likely a teacher, or orderly,” Jamie replied, pulling his stethoscope out of his pants pocket and swinging it around his neck, “no history tae speak of, at least it’s no sayin’ it here.”

“Anaphylaxis?” Rupert asked right before he pushed down on the air horn peddle with his foot at a roundabout.

“Aye, could be,” Jamie replied, “maybe an unknown food allergy. Couldna be an insect. ‘Tis too cold fer the bees tae be out just yet.”

“Aye,” Rupert agreed.

“Though, one has tae ask. What’s a teacher doin’ up at the school at such a late hour...”

“Ye ken how teachers can be. Remember when we tot’ teachers lived at the school? Gradin’ papers while munchin’ on apples?”

Jamie chuckled. “Aye. Foolish bairns, we were.”

“I turned out alrigh’ if I do say so meself!” Rupert laughed.

“Highly debatable,” Jamie mused, causing Rupert to shove him lightly with a chuckle.

They bobbed along the road towards the school in question. Jamie would be lead on this call so he mentally prepared himself, as he was taught. He knew that not every bit of knowledge and skill needed to do the job could be found in a book, but that didn’t mean his textbooks didn’t have useful insight.

They arrived on scene and Rupert got out to gather their bags and equipment, placing them on the stretcher. Jamie pulled out said cot from the back of the ambulance. Waiting for them was what Jamie assumed to be a custodian, and the older man led them towards the very back of the building, telling them a bit about their patient.

\---

_ Just as I suspected,  _ Jamie thought as he was treating his patient in the back of the unit a time later.  _ Allergic reaction. Nothing a hit of benadryl canna solve.  _ He prepared a syringe of diphenhydramine (the generic name for Benadryl) and injected it into the port of the poor woman’s IV, which Rupert had helped him start before they left for A&E. According to her, the teacher was indeed grading papers and preparing for a project for the students in the morning. Her husband made her dinner, which included shrimp. 

“I dinna ken I was allergic tae it!” The woman exclaimed, her voice muffled slightly through her oxygen mask. “I’d been eatin’ shrimp me whole life!”

“Sometimes consistent exposure can induce a debilitating allergy later in life, madam,” Jamie comforted. “‘Tis no yer fault, aye?”

The woman nodded and sat back in the cot. Her color had returned somewhat and she was indeed breathing easier. The medicine would make her sleepy, but it would combat the remnants of being exposed to shellfish, to which she wasn’t aware she was allergic to.

Jamie checked her vital signs one more time as Rupert announced they were pulling into the ambulance bay of Raigmore Hospital. Jamie had never been here before personally, so a sudden thrill of excitement ran up his spine. Rupert backed into one of the spaces labeled “Emergency Ambulance Only” and helped unload Jamie’s patient from the back. His patient was sleeping comfortably at this point and didn’t feel the bumpiness of being extracted from the ambulance.

Jamie, pulling from the foot of the stretcher, and Rupert, pushing from the head, made their way inside the A&E. Jamie assumed Rupert had already radioed ahead of their arrival. He didn’t think to do so and he felt foolish. As lead medic on the call, he knew from his teachings, it was his job to call in and give report. But that didn’t mean it was strictly up to him. He was thankful his cousin was his partner tonight.

“Raigmore is our primary A&E, Jamie, so get used tae seeing the inside of these walls,” Rupert commented from behind.

“Good tae know,” Jamie replied. “Good evenin’, everyone!” He greeted the patient room filled with medical professionals ready for transfer of care. “This bonny lass is Allison MacNaire. Aged 37, allergic reaction.” He handed his own written report to what he assumed was the doctor in charge.

And his own heart nearly stopped at the sight of her.

She had a messy bird’s nest of brown hair neatly gathered atop her head. Her eyes, though he only caught a small glimpse of them, held the colors of a fine aged whisky, her skin fair and damn near perfect with no marks or even make up. 

“Was she stable throughout transport?” The young doctor asked.

And her voice…  _ an English accent? _ She was a Sassenach; though did he in no way want that to be the insult it was meant to be.

“A-Aye,” Jamie stuttered slightly, hoping he didn’t embarrass himself too much. He could feel his ears turning red. He found his words again and continued with his verbal report. “I gave her a wee dose of Benadryl fer the ride. Took away most of the hives, reduced the swelling. Lungs were clear as a whistle when we arrived. Vitals good throughout.”

The pretty doctor smiled at him, and Jamie swore his knees would give out right there in front of her. “Well done, medic. I’m Dr. Claire Beauchamp, by the way. I’ll be taking over care. Did you need me to sign your PCR?”

Jamie almost didn’t move; he wanted to stand there and stare at her for the rest of his shift. But he held out the computer to her instead and said, “Jamie Fraser. Your servant, madam.” 

The Sassenach eyed him at first, but her smile brightened. Jamie’s heart was set ablaze at the sight.

He switched the small knob at the base of the screen and flattened it so it acted as a tablet while sliding its stylus out. He handed it to Claire, and when his fingers grazed hers slightly, it was as if he had been defibrillated. The small contact had a profound impact on his senses. She scribbled what looked like her initials “C.E.B., MD” and handed the computer back to him.

“I look forward to working with you in the future, Mr. Fraser,” Claire said with sincerity.

After him and Rupert remade their stretcher, and replenished what supplies were used, they loaded the cot back into the unit and Rupert put them back in service, ready for whatever call came next.

Jamie reflected from the passenger’s seat, a dreamy smile on his face.  _ I picked a fine time tae become a paramedic. _


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jamie and Claire individually reflect on their first meeting when they're alone. Jamie makes a surprise visit to Lallybroch, and his sister has a few words for him regarding the matter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow! Your love so far has been so amazing. Thank you for all the comments and kudos! And thank you to everyone who's bookmarked this series so far! 
> 
> Big thanks to @happytoobserve on Tumblr for her beta magic :D

* * *

Claire took a few moments to stare after the red-headed paramedic who’d brought in her newest patient. The moment his bright blue eyes descended upon hers, it was as if time stopped. And when his fingers brushed hers while signing over care, the electricity that flowed through her..._ he felt that too, right? _ She thought. But it was watching him walk away that kept him in her thoughts for the remainder of the night. The young man held himself with a sense of purpose, despite clearly being a brand new paramedic. Like this job was his destiny. Claire found that kind of confidence to be the epitome of attractiveness.

The patient he brought in ended up being admitted overnight for cautionary observation, but from her own examination, he definitely saved her life. _ Not bad for a greenie, _she amusingly thought.

The night slowed down from there, which bothered her greatly. Claire preferred to have busy nights. When the A&E was dead, she always found herself getting restless, and it made her question things. Her confidence, her profession, even things that she knew were foolish to think about.

But on this night, she kept her focus on the red headed Scot. And all about why she couldn’t get close to him.

_ We’re essentially colleagues. Professionals in our chosen fields within medicine. If Jamie actually worked here, it would be forbidden, lest one of us loses our jobs. But he doesn’t work here. Could it work? I wonder what he likes to do when he’s off duty. Does he like to cook? I love a man who can cook. Mostly because I can’t to save my own life. Is he like most Scots and prefers to spend his time outdoors? Does he like hiking? Maybe he’s one of those gym buffs. He did fit his uniform rather well. Good lord, Beauchamp! _

She shook her head and tried to find something more productive to do. But despite her efforts, Claire knew this Highlander was going to be the death of her. She knew she needed to stay away, but she couldn’t help her wanting to know every single detail about the paramedic named Jamie Fraser.

_ Maybe this is what Geillis was talking about? Maybe a good shagging from a handsome, young Scottish paramedic. Ugh! This isn’t helping me. _

Claire made her way towards the on call room, found a spare bed and threw herself upon it prone, sighing deeply and exaggeratedly. Despite the air around her being comfortable, her heart longed for a certain Scot to lay next to her, keeping her warm and company.

\---

Unbeknownst to Claire, Jamie’s head was swimming with thoughts of her back at the station. That one call left him smitten and wanting to hear her speak to him again, believing her voice capable of such magic. He was warm in the top bunk bed in the crew’s quarters but longed for her body to warm him further. He didn’t care that he’d just met her. He hungered for another chance just to be in her presence. She made the air around her easier to breathe. Her fair face was smoother than honey fresh from the comb. The way her hair was ruffled into a messy bun behind her head. And her smile lit up the entire damn room, brighter than the sun itself. She clearly held herself to a higher standard, given her scrubs fit her perfectly, not loose or baggy at all unlike most of her fellow colleagues. Jamie figured doctors naturally held themselves to a higher standard, almost in a cocky manner. But he found nothing cocky in Claire’s attitude. He’d received word that his patient had been admitted to hospital for observation and the doctor who admitted her spoke highly of the “paramedic who saved her life.” Jamie felt his heart was going to burst.

“Weel done, green!” Rupert slapped Jamie on the back, shaking him from his thoughts. “Ye did good, cousin. She’s gonna make it!”

“Och, ‘twas just doing my job, ye ken,” Jamie felt himself redden slightly. “That’s why I’m here, aye?”

“Dinna be sae bashful, Jamie, take pride in yer work! Ye gotta long way tae go, but already yer doin’ fine.” Rupert went back to snacking on some bannocks from home. Leaving Jamie to continue his thought on the Sassenach doctor.

He noticed how at ease and comfortable he felt being in the same room as her. Which was a far departure from how he felt when he first arrived at Raigmore. He could’ve swore everyone in the room could hear his pounding heart, and he certainly sweat something horrid. But he managed to keep himself together long enough to give the verbal report.

He slept fitfully in the bunker for the rest of his shift. Upon shift change, when his and Rupert’s relief showed up, they gave them a short run down of how their day and night went, gave them their radios, then Jamie jumped in his old BMW, deciding to go see his sister rather than go home to his flat.

It was a three hour drive, what with Broch Tuarach being just outside Edinburgh, but one Jamie welcomed. It’d been a few months since he’d last been home to Lallybroch. In the 18th century days of the Highland clans, he would’ve been the laird of Lallybroch. Laird Broch Tuarach, as his ancestors were. But those days were long gone, and he was free to go wherever he wanted in life. He didn’t have to commit to a life being a glorified landlord and a farmer as the oldest male in his family. His older brother Willie would’ve taken up that position were he still alive.

The drive up to the Highlands did nothing to quell Jamie’s thoughts of the Sassenach doctor. It wasn’t about sexual attraction either. Well, not _ only _that. He felt a need to please her in ways his male anatomy could not. He imagined showering her with wee gifts and the occasional bouquet of wildflowers only found near Lallybroch. Taking her to fantastic places for holiday or a date. There were restaurants in the Highlands that he always fancied taking a bonny lass to. He’d spent some time in Paris with his cousin Jared when he was starting up his wine tour a few years ago. A long holiday to Paris with nothing but time and wine sounded like a beautiful way to treat the Sassenach.

Before he knew it, he was pulling into the threshold of Lallybroch, his childhood home. A vast castle in and of itself, the grounds were still well maintained by the landscapers he’d hired shortly before moving to Inverness. He honked the horn and out scurried three wee bairns that were his nieces and nephews. They surrounded the car as he shifted into park and turned it off. As he got out, he barely got a breath in before he was being tackled to the ground, his laughter mingling in with the children’s.

“Och, ye wee mongrels!” Jamie cackled as they refused to let him up. “Ye’ll pay fer that, ya scoundrels!”

“That’s enough of ye, ya minions! Away wi’ ye!” Jamie heard the ironclad voice of his older sister Jenny, the children’s mother, coming outside and waving her arms around to scatter the children away from her brother. Jamie got up, dusted himself off and enveloped his much shorter, dark haired sister in a big hug. “Good tae see ye, brother! Didna expect ye. What’s the occasion?”

“No occasion,” Jamie breathed as he released Jenny. “Just realized I hadna been home in a bit. Course, I couldna ferget yer home cookin’ either, eh?”

“Och, the Fraser men and their bottomless pits for bellies,” Jenny smiled bemusedly. “Weel, come along inside, I bet yer dead on yer feet, wot wi’ being a full fleged paramedic now.”

“Nah,” Jamie followed Jenny and the children inside the vast house. It was like he’d never left; everything looked the same as it was the day his father died. He pushed the somber thought away, not wanting it to ruin his or his sister’s mood. “Had only the one call, nothing too drastic. Canna go into details, but I fulfilled my duties. Nevertheless, I’m sure that’ll change soon. Life of a paramedic is everything but dull.”

“Aye,” Jenny nodded. Jamie followed her into the kitchen and the sweet, musky smell of her rabbit stew assaulted his nose. He felt his stomach agree with him. “Weel, in any case, yer just in time. Stew’s just about done.”

“Need any help settin’ the table, Jenny?” Jamie asked. Despite being the head of the family, he never shied away from pulling his weight in helping his sister out.

“Nay, brother. Go out into the living room and visit with your nieces and nephews. They’ve missed ye somethin’ awful. I’ll handle everythin’ else.”

“As ye say, sister.”

Jamie removed his boots and set them by the fireplace, which was clearly just lit before he arrived. The second he sat down in his father’s old armchair, wee Jamie, his namesake nephew, pounced into his lap. The young lad buried his head against Jamie’s chest. Jamie cuddled the lad for a bit before Maggie and Kitty, wee Jamie’s little sisters, joined them.

“I’ve missed ye wee rattles sae much,” Jamie felt all three of them embrace him harder. His thoughts wandered back to Claire, and his heart skip a beat. He wondered if this was how Ian, the bairns’ father and his best friend, felt each time his children cuddled up to him. The warmth and pride his offspring felt for him. He started to wonder what kind of children Claire would give him when Jenny called out from the kitchen.

“Come an’ get it, my wee lambs! Dinner’s ready!”

Ian had come home shortly before the children settled into their seats.

“Good tae see ye, Jamie!” Ian clapped him on the back as they hugged. “Always know how tae make an entrance, lad.”

“Aye,” Jamie reciprocated. “How’s the leg, man?”

Ian lifted up his pant leg to reveal a metal prosthetic attached just below his right knee. Like Brian Fraser, Jamie and Jenny’s late father, Ian Murray was a veteran firefighter. While fighting an apartment complex fire, burning remnants of the building’s roof collapsed on top of him, pinning him from the waist down. It took some time before his brothers and sisters of the fire service got in to rescue him. Ian always said he was fortunate that it wasn’t worse. He had scars on him, inside and out, like Jamie, but he could’ve lost his life instead of just his leg. So he was given an early retirement pension and now manages the fiscal side of the fire service.

“Aye, still attached!” Ian replied, causing both men to laugh.

Dinner was a peaceful affair, nothing more than the sounds of chewing and the clinking of silverware on dishes and the sips of drink. Jamie always cherished these moments; he knew nothing needed to be said between his kinsmen. Their presence was more than enough. After dinner, Jamie helped Jenny with loading the dishwasher and clearing the table. Wee Jamie and Maggie demanded that their uncle read them their nightly bedtime story, so naturally, he had to oblige. He kissed each of his sister’s children goodnight and joined Jenny and Ian in the living room for a dram or two.

“Ye got that dreamy look in yer eye, Jamie,” Ian piped up. “What’s on yer mind?”

“Prolly’ a lass,” Jenny mused, shooting her brother a curious glance. Jamie kept his eyes on his glass of whisky. “He always looks that way when he meets a girl fer the first time.”

Jamie’s silence spoke wide volumes. Jenny just laughed. 

“‘Tis a lass, is it no? Ha! I ken it. Yer heart’s a flutter, aye?”

“Janet,” Jamie warned, feeling his cheeks turned shades of red from embarrassment.

“Weel, dinna spare the details!” Jenny went on as if Jamie hadn’t said anything. “Wot’s her name? Wot she look like? Have ye already named yer bairns?”

“_ A Dhia, _ Janet! Yer insufferable!”

Jenny just continued to laugh. Ian decided to step in a rescue Jamie from this awkward predicament.

“Dinna fash yerself, Jamie. Certainly not on yer sister’s account,” Ian flashed his wife with a small warning glare, something Jamie was grateful for. “There’s naught tae be ashamed of if ye met a lass.”

Jamie was silent for a while before saying, “her name’s Claire. She an A&E doctor.”

Jenny didn’t say anything, and Ian just smiled.

There was a time where Jamie used to regret coming home with news like this; he knew his sister would tease him endlessly. But he felt he’d grown up a bit since then. He wouldn’t be ashamed to come home ever again, if he could help it.

But his thoughts started to swim and all he could see in his mind’s eye was the Sassenach doctor who’d stolen his heart with a single glance. He smiled to himself as he drained his dram and excused himself to go to bed, praying his dreams would be filled with her.

\---

_ “Da...” a younger Jamie asked his father while sitting under a tree just outside Lallybroch. Jamie knew he was dreaming, but he didn’t fight the feeling. _

_ “Aye, lad?” _

_ “How did ye ken Mam was the one fer ye?” _

_ Brian Fraser chuckled. “I just did, my braw lad. Yer Mam looked at me, and I just kent it. My heart kent it. My soul kent it. And I didna stop fightin’ ‘til we were wed. Ellen MacKenzie Fraser was and will always be my face’s heart.” _

_ Jamie sat and pondered his father’s words, not really believing it was a simple as that. _

When Jamie woke up the next morning, he had a light heart and a soaring spirit. 

His father was right, as always.

Doctor Claire Beauchamp was the one. And he wasn’t going to stop fighting until she was his.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An emergency brings Jamie and Claire closer together, and their colleagues take notice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks once again to @happytoobserve for her beta magic!

* * *

Jamie couldn’t help the dreamy smirk on his face when he arrived at work two days later, ready to take on another 24 hour shift after a relaxing visit to Lallybroch. Jenny eventually quelled her teasing when she saw her brother wasn’t going to give up his “wee crush” so easily.

_ “If this lass is someone yer really pinin’ fer, who am I tae stop ye? How do ye think I fell fer Ian?”  _ Her words echoed in his head as he was washing the ambulance with Rupert. When he really thought about it, if Jenny didn’t approve of it, it wasn’t worth pursuing.

“Wot’s wi’ that faraway look on yer face, lad?” Rupert said, splashing Jamie with suddy water from the wash bucket.

“Nothin’,” Jamie muttered, but his expression gave away his lie. Rupert just laughed.

“Ye found yerself a lass, havena ye?”

“Is it really that obvious tae everyone?” Jamie said, frustrated. He was good at making his face keep a secret, but not when it came to love. He sighed before confirming, “aye...canna deny it. Cupid’s gone bit me in the arse wi’ his arrow.”

“Oi, Cupid spikes ye in the heart, no the arse.”

“Ye ken my meanin’, ye great dolt!”

Rupert laughed more. “Aye, aye, I ken. Who’s the puir deary this time?”

Jamie winced.  _ This time.  _ His mind fluttered to...well...his last love. And his heart started to ache.

“I’m sure ye’ll find out soon enough, cousin.” Jamie went back to his task, ignoring whatever jabs Rupert might throw his way on the matter.

In the distance, Jamie heard a low rumble. Well, that was putting it mildly considering he  _ felt  _ it before he heard it. Rupert must’ve noticed too because he stopped rinsing off the side of the unit Jamie had just washed.

“That isna good,” Rupert commented.

“Ye think?” Jamie replied dryly. In his heart, he knew something terrible had just happened. And it would only be a matter of time before tones dropped.

Several of their colleagues came outside.

“What the devil was that?” said Angus Mhor, another one of Jamie’s distant relatives, with a cigarette dangling from his lips.

“It shook the whole station, it did!” exclaimed Glenna FitzGibbons, the head call taker, or Mrs. Fitz to everyone who knew her.

“Watch yer backs, lads. Could verra weel be an MI soon enough,” Dougal muttered before lighting his own cigarette and joining Angus by the smoking alcove.

Jamie swallowed. He’d read all about how major incidents, or MIs, were supposed to be run according to the NHS. Technically in Scotland, there was no set standard for pre-hospital triage, so they usually defaulted to the Manchester Triage system, which was simple enough. In America, he knew they called them “mass casualty incidents.” He’d written a term paper about the September 11th attacks in New York, defending the city’s management of such a large scale mass casualty incident. While his professor didn’t entirely agree with his approach to the subject, he still got top marks on it.

By the time Rupert and Jamie had finished washing the unit and were moving it back into the ambulance bay, they could see black smoke billowing along the horizon. Which, given how close they were to the city of Inverness, wasn’t too far away.

Before either of them could comment on the sight, the tones dropped.

_ “Declared Major Incident. Declared Major Incident. Passenger bus versus building. Passenger bus versus building. All available units respond tae Raigmore Hospital. All Available Units respond tae Raigmore Hospital. All reserve units stand by for further assignment. All reserve units stand by for further assignment. Time is 1046 hours.” _

Jamie and Rupert didn’t bother to get out of the unit. They just buckled up, Rupert started it, and they made their way towards Raigmore Hospital.

\---

“If this isna utter chaos, then I’ve been verra deceived,” Rupert commented as the police directed their unit towards a staging area for all responding emergency ambulances.

“Dinna fash yerself, Rupert. Ye’ll be gettin’ yer fix o’ casualties today,” Jamie commented back as his cousin parked the unit. Though, internally, Jamie was sweating. The patients here weren’t going to care if he was new or had twenty years experience; they were expecting him to save their lives. He knew he could not hesitate.  _ Your instincts and intuition are your best friends in this line of work,  _ he remembered his preceptor telling him during his A&E clinical rotations. And he realized that this place, this chaotic mess of an emergency situation, was where those “best friends” were going to come in and be his guide.

They grabbed all their gear and started making their way towards a red tent labeled in big, reflective block letters, “PARAMEDIC STAGING AREA. AUTHORISED PERSONNEL ONLY.”

The briefing was...well, brief. The driver of a passenger bus from a local kirk had a seizure while driving and crashed into a business park building, causing the first and second floors to partially collapse on top of it. There were at least 50 patients to triage and attend to, unknown if they were all adults or if there were children involved. The parrish of the kirk were mostly the elderly of Inverness, but the building held multiple businesses, including a daycare. Jamie immediately thought  _ “well, o’ course there are kids there, ‘tis only Thursday!” _ But quickly dismissed that thought when they were informed the daycare was currently closed for remodeling. So the chances of a child being hurt in this major incident were slim to none.

Their job was simple: make yourself useful wherever you can. If you find a patient that hasn’t been tended to yet, establish their priority. If they’re priority 1, black tag them and move on. Priority 2 gets on the spot care and a red tag, anyone with a priority 3 or less is considered “walking wounded” and direct them to the P3 tents.

“All Raigmore A&E staff are on site. A&E doctors are in charge of the scene. If they tell ye they dinna need help, move on. Listen tae their instructions! Now, let's move out!”

Jamie’s heart lifted. If the A&E doctors were acting as rescue personnel, then he might get a chance to work alongside Claire. His Sassenach.

Jamie grabbed the most basic of supplies and shoved them into his pockets, and headed out, ready to tackle the first major challenge of his career.

\---

Claire put on her disposable trauma covers for her scrubs, shoes, and stethoscope, filled her pockets with half a dozen face mask shields, half a box of latex-free gloves, two boxes of MI tags for patients, and immediately set out to work. She could see the paramedics leaving their initial briefing gathering and were making their way towards the chaotic crowd to search for patients to treat. Or not treat. Given the scale of this incident, there were likely to be a lot of black tags in the crowd. She didn’t see anyone with red hair though.  _ Maybe he had the day off... _

She knew from the briefing inside the A&E that they were to steer clear from the building itself and work on people at ground level; the fire department and rescue helicopters would focus on getting the people inside the now-crumbling structure out and towards proper care.

The first dozen patients she came across were already dead; she tore off every part except for the black part of the triage tag for each one of the deceased and fit it on their foot. Moving along, she found an elderly woman who had a pretty bad cut to the head, but was otherwise unhurt. She did the basics first (checking for level of consciousness, assured the patient was breathing okay) but when she started to bandage the wound, she heard a musical Scottish brogue behind her.

“Can I be of any assistance, doctor?”

Claire turned around and her heart lifted at the sight of the Scottish paramedic from earlier in the week. She smiled.

“Yes, in fact, if you could double check for additional injuries, that would be great.”

The man crouched down and introduced himself to the patient, who just smiled as Claire was holding her head steady, and started looking around her body. Claire noticed that he always indicated what he was doing verbally, looked to the patient for an affirmative sound, then performed the task.  _ “Expressed consent. Very good,” _ Claire thought.

“So, Jamie,” Claire said as she was finishing up the bandaging. “How long have you been a paramedic? You seem to really know your stuff.”

“Och,” Jamie replied, as he did one final check of the patient’s radial pulse. “Nay long at all. Today’s my second shift.”

Claire blinked as she stood up. “Really?”

“Aye, aye, fresh out o’ training classes,” Jamie smiled, and Claire felt she was going to become a casualty herself.  _ He really has the most beautiful smile I’ve ever seen on a man,  _ she thought. “Why do ye ask?”

“Just curious, really,” Claire started walking and she motioned her head for Jamie to walk with her. “You act as if you’ve done this your whole life. Yet... you look so young.”

“Aye, I’m 22, doctor.”

“No need for formalities here, Jamie, we’re essentially colleagues now. Claire is fine.”

“I see,” Jamie said, and it took all of Claire’s professional strength not to giggle at the blush spreading across the red-headed Scot’s face.  _ “Claire.” _

The way he said her name did something to her insides and she suppressed a squirm. It was as if the world had shrunk down in population to just the two of them.

Claire cleared her throat. “Let’s see who else could use our help. Shall we?”

Jamie blinked, but smiled again as he followed her. And he felt like his dreams were coming true.

The two of them worked side by side the entire time they were needed. Within two hours, they were bantering back and forth like they’d known each other their entire lives. They were joking and laughing, bickering and sticking their tongues out at each other, all while not missing a beat working the scene.

Jamie and Claire were eventually complimented on how well they worked together. To the point where, for better or worse, it wasn’t long before both their respective colleagues took notice.

“Look like our greenie’s made a friend,” Angus commented from the recovery tent where he and Rupert were managing the rescue workers’ refreshments.

“Aye,” Rupert chuckled, “from the look o’ his face, wouldna be surprised if he’s found himself a wee girlfriend!”

Angus and Rupert both roared with laughter.

“Weel, if yer quite done wi’ yer spectacle, mebbe get back tae minding the drinks, lads, eh?” Dougal said behind them. Angus and Rupert pretended they’d never said a word, but as Dougal looked on to see Jamie getting close and friendly with the Sassenach doctor he’d met last year, a small smile spread across his face.

“They’d make a lovely couple, doncha agree?” Geillis told Mary Hawkins, one of their resident students.

“Y-Yes, they would,” Mary squeaked, silently honored one of her superiors was talking to her about something other than work.

“It’s said that red headed Scotman tend to have bigger cocks, ye ken,” Geillis giggled mischievously, which turned Mary’s face the shade of a ripe tomato. 

However, not everyone who was watching the Scot and Sassenach liked what they saw…

\---

“We did weel, did we no, Sassenach?” Jamie said as he and Claire watched from the recovery tent as law enforcement cleaned up the scene, coffees and cherry cream cheese scones in hand. They were also overseeing the emergency demolition of the building, as it was fit to be unstable after the crash.

“I do hope you mean that term in a friendly manner, rather than what it’s origins suggest,” Claire side eyed Jamie suspiciously, but was still smiling.

“Och, aye,” Jamie said hurriedly, flustering. “Aye, o’ course. Didna mean tae offend ye. The Gaelic may translate tae ‘Englishperson’, but in the eyes of the Scots, yer still an ‘outlander’. ‘Tis no meant tae be an insult. I wouldna ever insult ye, Claire.”

_ Why does his speaking my name do this to me? _ Claire wondered, returning his smile. “I know you didn’t mean it like that. But I also didn’t want to assume, either.”

“Verra wise,” Jamie mused, taking a sip from his cup of water. He heard a loud whistle from behind him. Both Claire and Jamie turned to see Angus gesturing for Jamie to join them. He knew what that meant, and it made him a little sad.

“Looks like we’re back in service, Sassenach,” Jamie said as he stood up, downing his water and disposing of the cup. He bowed before Claire before saying, “take care of yerself. Claire.”

Claire just kept her smile up as he left, but inside she was dying. She wanted nothing more than for him to stay with her. She wondered if he would be up for observing a shift at A&E with her. For such a new medic, he could learn quite a bit.  _ Could help him in the field, _ too, she thought.

But instead, she finished her water like Jamie did and got up to head back inside to the hospital to see if there were anymore patients that needed tending to. She knew she couldn’t get close to anyone in her field, no matter where they worked. It was just too risky given Jamie’s line of work. The last thing she wanted was to have her heart broken.

But before she made it back towards the red entrance doors, she heard someone calling out her name. Someone who had a similar accent to hers.

“Dr. Randall!” Claire said with a genuine smile. “How may I be of assistance?”

“Actually,” Frank Randall said with his own shy smile, “it’s what I can do for you.”

“Oh?”

“Truth be told, I wasn’t even sure it was...appropriate to ask, but...look, I’m new to Inverness and I need friends. You appear to be someone who could be a friend. I’d like to go out for coffee and was wondering if you’d like to accompany me. Please?”

The way Frank was asking made Claire almost feel sorry for him. But not in a pitiful way. There was a small part of her that wished Jamie was the one asking her out to coffee, but as she was so desperate for something akin to normalcy outside of the hospital…

“Sure. I’ll go get coffee with you. There’s this one shop I frequent that I think you’ll love.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Claire doesn't get why Frank won't take a hint. Fortunately, the Scottish lads of the Scottish Ambulance Service help with that. In their own way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You already know who beta'd this. Love ya @happytoobserve on Tumblr ;D

* * *

Despite all her professional warning signs telling her it was a bad idea, the more that Claire interacted with Jamie, the more she fell for him. He was everything in a man she could want. He was charming, a born storyteller like most Scots. No matter what story he was telling, it always seemed to capture her full attention. He was also funny, and never missed an opportunity to make her laugh, even if it was at his own expense. Best of all, he was kind. Like the Americans say, he had ‘a heart the size of Texas’. It was no wonder to her that he became a paramedic. She saw he treated every patient, young or old, big or small, no matter what they looked like or where they came from, with the same genuine concern and care. His heart was definitely big enough to spare love to complete strangers.

Two months had come and gone since Claire had first met Jamie and she decided to stop denying it.

She was utterly in love with the massive, red-headed Scottish paramedic.

If only she could figure out a way to tell Frank.

That first coffee meeting turned into what Claire could only describe as one sided dates. She didn’t see them as anymore than coworkers hanging out after work, much like she did with Geillis, but Frank didn’t seem to get that memo. She tried to enjoy her time with him. But despite knowing he was the A&E on call surgeon, and he liked the coffee shop she suggested to him that day he introduced himself, she really didn’t care to take this any further than a friendship. He didn’t overstep any unspoken boundaries, per se, but he would occasionally push some of her wild curls behind her ear as gently as he could, would occasionally place his hand over hers while he was talking, and he at least made it looked like he cared about what she said. But she really didn’t know how to feel about his poor attempts at affection. It wasn’t bad, but…

“I wouldn’t exactly call it ‘good’ either,” Claire told Geillis in the break room one day over lunch.

“Och, ye need tae tell him if yer no interested in him, lass,” Geillis scoffed. “Dinna wanna lead him on fer too long, ye ken.”

“I know that, but it seems like every time I get around to reminding him that we’re just friends, something comes up.”

“Something...like...”

“His pager would go off, or he’d say he forgot to check on whatever patient was in his care, you know, something like that.”

“Seems tae me he’s tryna put it off, sae ye didna get a chance tae tell him. Mebbe he kens yer true feeling’ and he’s stallin’. Aye, that must be it!”

Claire pondered on that for a tick.  _ Could that be it? _ She’d been more or less direct with him. Why would he be so indirect?

_ No. No I won’t allow him to take advantage of me like that. _ Claire made up her mind that she would talk to Frank and remind him more firmly that they were just friends. And he would have only one chance to comply or else.

Suddenly, everyone’s pagers went off at the same time. Claire reached for hers and it read “INCOMING TRAUMA”

She and Geillis scarfed down their lunch and started preparing. Claire’s heart was racing, but it was less from adrenaline and more from the fact that she knew Jamie was working tonight. There was a good chance he would be bringing in this trauma.

Standing in the already prepared Trauma 1, Claire stood away from the gurney and waited the longest 30 seconds of her life. Her heart skipped a beat the second he heard the ambulance’s sirens coming into the bay before they were cut off. Another 30 seconds went by before she saw a full head of red hair pulled back, clearly working hard to save their patient’s life. Claire noticed that his hair had grown longer and now required a hair tie when on duty. He looked so good. Just as quickly as she thought this, the moment was gone and she started helping with doing a draw sheet transfer from ambulance stretcher to hospital gurney.

“Heid on collision. 29 year old male, driver o’ one o’ the cars, the only ejection. PEA on arrival, CPR ongoing for the last 20 minutes o’ so,” Jamie said seriously as he continued to bag the intubated patient. A smaller medic was straddling the patient on their stretcher as he pumped into their chest before draw sheeting them over, clearly doing CPR. 

Claire remembered Jamie telling her about Angus, and Rupert, his partner and distant cousin. Claire also remembered that pulseless electrical activity, or PEA, was almost always fatal in a traumatic situation. Traumatic arrests were never easy cases to work.

“Okay, let’s check for signs of life,” Claire announced. Everyone who was working on the patient, save for Mary, who’d taken over for bagging, removed their gloved hands. Jamie and Claire both came forward. Claire pushed two fingers into the patient’s carotid artery and looked at the monitor. Jamie pulled out his stethoscope, fitted the tips in his ears and placed the diaphragm over the patient’s chest.

Jamie muttered something to Mary, who stopped bagging the patient. He could see the defeated look on Claire’s face, and it was mirrored on everyone else in their own way. Looking down at the patient as his put his scope away, he could see how his injuries would be incompatible with life.

“I’m calling it,” Claire’s suddenly tired voice seemed louder than she intended. “Time of death, 2346.”

If anyone was hit the hardest by this, it was Jamie. He handed his report to Claire, she signed it, and without another word, he left the room.

Claire knew that Mary and Geillis would take care of covering the body and preparing it to go to the hospital’s mortuary in the basement, so she stripped off her soiled protective gear and went after Jamie.

It didn’t take long for her to find him. He was sitting on the step outside the back of his ambulance while Rupert, Angus, and a few others were cleaning up the back of the unit. She heard voices of comfort and encouragement being spoken to him in their native tongue. She hung back and waited for him to notice her, which also didn’t take long.

She slid her back along the outer wall of the A&E. Jamie did the same thing and sat close to her. Probably closer than was professionally appropriate, but she didn’t care. She longed for his presence.

“Are you alright, Jamie?” Claire asked.

Jamie stayed silent, his breathing the only thing keeping her company. Then, it hit her.

“Was that your first.”

Jamie looked up at her. “Aye...aye it was.”

“I’m so sorry Jamie.”

They sat in silence for a few more minutes. Then Claire felt Jamie’s hand sliding into hers. She should’ve retreated, should’ve told him “not while we’re on the clock,” like there were in such secret, forbidden relationship, but she found her body reacting without her consent (or so it felt) and she gave his hand a light squeeze. Jamie looked down at their joined hands and grinned a bit.

“Have ye ever lost anyone...like that, I mean.”

Claire thought back on her career before saying, “yes I have. The first one is always the hardest. But...you learn to cope and it gets easier. At the end of the day, all you can do is remember you did all you could. And that it’s not your fault.”

“Wish I could feel that way now...”

“Jamie,” Claire turned her body so she was facing him. She dared herself to look him directly in the eye, despite the high risk of drowning in those sad, tear-ridden, bright blue orbs. “That patient was dead before you got there. 98% of patients who suffer a traumatic arrest do not survive. Mostly...what we do is show the families of the victims that we at least  _ tried. _ Because at the end of the day...that’s all we can do.”

“If ye say so...”

Claire was taken aback. She’d never seen Jamie like this. Almost...depressed, really. It broke her heart.

“Thank ye, Sassenach. Truly,” Jamie managed a smile, but Claire could see it didn’t quite reach his eyes. A shame, really.  _ He should never have a reason to be sad… _

Jamie brought her hand to his lips and brushed them gently with a small kiss. Claire’s heart thundered harder at the feeling. He was about to get up and head back towards the ambulance, but she stopped him.

“Wait.” Claire pulled out the little notepad she kept in her scrubs pocket and jotted down her number. “I know how this must look, but I also know what it’s like to...to lose someone...in this line of work. Here.” She tore off the paper with her personal cell number written on it and handed it to Jamie. He received it tentatively. “I usually work nights, but I never turn my personal mobile off. I’m here for you if you need it, Jamie. I hope you know that.”

Jamie looked back and forth from the note to her. For the first time since he brought in that patient, he smiled. Brightly. Claire steadied herself so that her knee wouldn’t buckle at the sight.

“Thank ye, Sassenach!” Without thinking, he threw his arms around her. 

Claire’s world once more shrunk down to just the two of them. He smelled of fresh linen and strawberries. And he was warm.  _ So  _ warm. Jamie Fraser was a walking, talking, breathing furnace; probably had to be given how cold Scotland could get. She momentarily wondered if all Scottish men were as warm as Jamie was. But it wouldn't matter. She wrapped her arms around him to hug back.

\---

The drive back to the station was a somber one, and Jamie learned quickly that anytime SAS loses a patient, it dampers everyone’s mood. Rupert wasn’t joking around while he drove; in fact, he was too quiet for the person he was. It was even worse when they actually got back to the station, Rupert turning off the unit inside the bay and not making any eye contact with anyone.

Dougal summoned everyone into the meeting room on the second floor and did their debriefing. It was standard procedure for everyone to sit down after a rough call and discuss it. It was less a meeting on how to do better and more of an impromptu therapy session. Jamie welcomed the distraction, but found Claire’s words to be better suited for how he felt.

_ “What we do is show the families of the victims that we at least  _ tried. _ ” _

Jamie left the meeting feeling a bit better, Claire’s words resonating within him as he drifted off to sleep in his bunk for the rest of his shift. And more than that, she’d given him her personal mobile number. He stepped outside the station, pulled out his own mobile and sent the number a text.

_ >>>Hey there, Sassenach. Feel free to text anytime. I work 24s and dinna always sleep well between calls. _

His heart pounded harder as he saw three little dots wave just below his own message, indicating she was texting back.

**<<< Hey there yourself, Scotty. How are you feeling?**

_ Scotty. _ Jamie laughed at that. It seemed only fair that if he had a nickname for her, she’d have one for him as well. His thumbs went to work at his reply.

_ >>>Better, thanks. Yer words meant a great deal to me. I canna thank ye enough. _

He settled into bed, then an idea popped into his head.

_ >>> Would ye do me the honor of joining me fer a dram this weekend? _

\---

Claire didn’t hesitate to accept Jamie’s offer for a night out at the pub. She probably should’ve turned it down, given they were supposed to be professional colleagues. But if she could do it with Frank, someone she’d rather never see again, then she could definitely go out with Jamie, a man who was quickly worming his way into her heart.

The whisky was of good quality, Claire surmised. Of course, being a born and bred Highlander, she let Jamie pick what she drank. And oh, was she ever approving.

“‘Tis good, is it no?” Jamie smiled from his own glass.

“Yes it is,” Claire swallowed, feeling the burn rising slowly from the back of her throat. She would  _ not  _ be out drank in the whisky department by a Scot; she was perfectly capable of holding her liquor down. “It’s very smooth.”

“‘Ntil the burn comes back up, aye?”

They laughed together. Jamie started going on about a time he almost drowned his brother Willie in the river behind their home while fishing. What should’ve been a dramatic, somber story was anything but because Jamie was telling it. Claire paid attention to every single detail. The way Jamie’s eyes lit up when speaking about his family, a clear source of pure joy and nostalgia for him. How his face remained consistently animated during the funniest parts. The way he blushed when he was explaining parts of his role in Willie’s almost-demise, as if Jamie regretted tricking Willie into believing he was a fish, hiding in the water below.

“Though I am proud tae say I can hold my breath much longer than any Fraser currently alive,” Jamie finished, Claire’s side in stitches from laughing so much. She couldn’t stop, and Jamie placed a hand on her shoulder and rubbed small circles on her lower back. “Ye alright, Sassenach?”

“I-I’m fine! Hah! R-Really, I am,” Claire breathed deeply, but the tears of joy streaming down her face and her smile not wavering caused Jamie to return it.

“Ye know,” Jamie began nervously, “ye have a musical laugh, ye ken. And yer smile,” He placed a finger under her chin and lifted her face to his, being ever so gentle. “It brightens the whole room. Like yer the sun itself.”

Claire felt her lungs constrict.  _ Was he being serious? _

“Yer a bonny lass, Sassenach. Ye’ve a good heart. ‘Tis no wonder ye became a doctor.”

“It was always my calling, even as a child,” Claire said softly, not even trying to make Jamie let her go. Him holding her...felt so natural. “I surprised no one when I announced I was going to medical school. It was hard work...but worth it.”

“I’m proud of ye, Claire.”

Jamie’s hand moved from the underside of her jaw to caress her cheek. Claire brought her hand up and placed it over his. He breathed in her scent, as if she was the very oxygen his lungs needed to survive. She leaned her forehead into his. Their lips grew closer together. Before either of them knew it, they were going in to kiss.

“You fucking whore!” An angry English voice sounded in front of them.

In the space of a heartbeat, Jamie released Claire and maneuvered her behind him to protect her. Claire stared wide-eyed at Frank, who was clearly drunk, his eyes mad and wild.

“Frank?” Claire exclaimed.

“Someone ye ken, Sassenach?”

“And  _ you, _ ” Frank slurred, stumbling towards Jamie. Jamie did not budge from his protective stance, drawing himself to his full six-foot-four height. Which didn’t take much effort as Frank looked like he was just a few inches shy of being six feet tall. “Don’t you Scots ever stop taking what isn’t yours?”

“If yer talkin’ about the lady,” Jamie replied, calmly, “then ye might want tae reconsider yer words. She doesna belong tae anyone. No me, nor ye. She here of her own choosin’. Now, why don’t ye go home and sleep off yer drams, eh lad?”

“I am no  _ lad,  _ you filthy heathen! Claire,” Frank attempted to move past Jamie to get to Claire, but all it took was Jamie blocking his way to knock Frank flat on his drunken ass. Claire gasped from behind Jamie, but Jamie didn’t even try to hurt Frank. It showed how well the Scot could hold his drink, and how Frank clearly could not.

“There a problem here, lads?” Rupert came up from behind Claire, followed by Angus and Dougal, who were here having their own dram session in the far corner of the pub. Claire looked behind her, and suddenly felt... _ safe. _

“Nah,” Jamie said, “just a wee misunderstandin’. Right, lad?” Jamie looked down at Frank, who was struggling to get back up. Rupert and Dougal helped themselves. Frank, now clinging to the taller, broader Scots, attempted to refocus his eyes and they glared directly at Claire.

“You were supposed to be  _ mine,  _ Claire. What happened to that?”

“I said no such thing,” Claire replied angrily. “I kept trying to tell you we were just  _ friends! _ It’s  _ your  _ fault you refused to listen, or take a hint!”

“I think it’s time ye took my nephew’s advice, sir,” Dougal said in his own calm voice, still holding Frank by his underarm, like Rupert. “‘Afore we escort ye from the premises.”

“Pfft,” Frank all but spat. “You don’t own this establishment!”

“No,” another Scottish lilt joined the conversation, “but I do. And it is still  _ my pleasure  _ tae see who is and is not allowed tae enjoy a dram here, good sir.”

The man who walked over, or rather... _ wobbled _ over, probably would’ve been over six feet tall if his legs weren’t a twisted mangled mess of bone and flesh. If Claire had never become a doctor, she might have winced at the sight.

“Sassenach, I’d like ye tae meet my Uncles. Colum,” he pointed to the shorter, disabled one, “and Dougal,” the taller one holding Frank up. “Colum, Dougal, may I present tae ye Doctor Claire Beauchamp, A&E emergency room physician. Welcome to Pub Leoch, Sassenach!”

“A fine pleasure it is, my dear,” Colum wiggled his way towards Claire and embraced her. Claire happily hugged him back.

“Thank you so much for having me! This whisky is the finest I’ve ever had!”

“Let me go!” Frank finally managed to sober up enough to stand still on his own, but his angry eyes did not leave Claire. He pointed at her before saying, “this isn’t over.” Then he left. The Scottish men all glared at his backside.

“I’d say it fine weel is, doctor,” Colum said then looked at his brother. “Make sure that man is blacklisted, Dougal. I’ll not have anyone speaking tae a lady that manner in my pub. Jamie!”

Jamie turned to his uncle as Rupert offered to pay for Claire’s refill, which she accepted. “This the Sassenach ye’ve been fawning o’er?”

Jamie blushed slightly, but refused to deny it. “Aye, uncle. I dinna mean any offense by it.”

“Och, dinna fash yerself, lad. She’s bonny, and braw. Now, who’s this fellow causing a stramash?”

“Dinna ken,” Jamie sighed, “but clearly there’s something between him and Claire. And she dinna look verra happy tae see him here.”

“Just as weel,” Colum replied. “Weel, so long as she’s here, keep an eye out for her. Dinna think that needs sayin’ aloud, but just the same. Please extend my most sincere apologies tae yer wee Sassenach. I must go sit back down now.”

“As ye say, Uncle.”

As Colum hobbled away, Jamie made his way back towards Claire, and her smile was long gone. Jamie put his arm around Claire. “I ken this goes without saying, but I’ll say it anyway. Ye alright,  _ mo nighean donn? _ ”

Claire looked up at Jamie, and his eyes were filled with great concern. Not unfounded though. She truly felt like Jamie cared about her. She could feel it in the warm, comforting arm around her shoulders. She reached her hand out to touch his, lacing her fingers with his. Then, she leaned into his strong, sturdy body.

“Dinna fash yerself,  _ mo chridhe, _ ” Jamie whispered. “Ye need not be scared of anyone here. As long as I’m wi’ ye.”

“And when you’re not with me?”

Jamie took a breath. “I’ll always be wi’ ye.” He placed his other hand across her chest. He could feel her heart beating beneath his hand, and he smiled. “Right here. Aye?”

While she felt safe in his arms, she knew eventually they would both have to go home. And she wouldn’t feel protected anymore. Jamie must’ve felt her tensing up more. He just kept holding her. And didn’t let go.

Claire just wished these scary feelings would...


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Claire grows in fear of Frank's motives with each passing day. Can Jamie help her? Or will he be caught in the crossfire?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You already know. @happytoobserve being the epic beta she is ;D

* * *

Laying in bed that night, Claire played back the events at the pub.

Frank’s drunken outbursts.

Jamie’s words of comfort and protection.

His family and colleagues pledging their own fealty of support.

Colum MacKenzie’s words.

But more than that, she felt she’d seen a side of Frank she didn’t expect. One that scared her to the marrow’s core. And she knew Frank, being a prominent member of the A&E’s employ, held influence over members of the board members and certain politicians within Scotland. Claire shuddered at the thought. He could make up any story he wanted. He could even fabricate documentation to support his claims.

_ No, _ Claire thought.  _ He’s much older than me, so surely he’s more mature than to take something like this to such a drastic degree. Surely he could handle rejection...couldn’t he? _

She shook her head of the thoughts and tried to get some sleep. She had a double shift in the morning and wanted to be well rested.

Sleep unfortunately wouldn’t come easy for her.

\---

As expected, Claire was tired the entire next day. She was fortunate to have training in working on sleep-deprived conditions, so it didn’t affect her work too much. But eventually patients and colleagues alike started noticing she was yawning more than normal, rubbing the sleep from her eyes more than normal. She had one or two patients ask for her well being, but she assured them she was fine.

But the moment she saw Frank walking into the A&E, file folders in hand, her heart froze.  _ Would he start a skermish here in front of everyone? Ugh, get ahold of yourself, Beauchamp! You’re being irrational!  _ She made it look like she was working on documentation so maybe Frank wouldn’t notice her. Luck wasn’t on her side though.

“Dr. Beauchamp,” that cold voice, pretending to be sincere, called out to her. Frank was, in more ways than one, her superior. She couldn’t ignore him.

“Dr. Randall.” It came out a bit more unfriendly than she intended, but Frank didn’t seem to notice.

“May I speak with you in private, please?” Frank asked.

Suppressing a shudder, Claire followed Frank to one of the many conferences rooms the A&E had. When he closed the door behind him after letting her in first, Claire thought the worst.

“Look, Claire,” Frank said, again trying to sound sincere, “please forgive me for my behavior at the pub. I wasn’t in any position to question whom you congregated with outside of work hours. I’m sorry.”

Claire wanted to buy it. She wanted to believe Frank meant what he said. That the terrible things he’d said in front of her new friends, and Jamie, was really the alcohol and not his actual temperament. But she just couldn’t. She saw Frank’s true colors that night and nothing Frank could say would change her mind. 

Besides. There was a certain red-headed paramedic who had been on her mind from day one. And she wasn’t about to let that one go.

But, with Frank’s position compared to hers, she feared anything negative she said to him, however honest and true, would come back to haunt her. She bit her tongue. “I understand, Frank. Alcohol can do things to the mind, as we both well know. Forget about it. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have-”

“I’d like to make it up to you,” Frank interrupted. “Dinner, my treat. Nothing special. Just two friends trying to get along. Think of it as my way of apologizing to you.”

Claire bit the inside of her cheek. She felt he was reeling her in for disaster. But what else could she do?

_ Maybe it won’t be so bad. The worst that can happen is he talks my ears off with things I don’t care for, and I get a free meal and some wine out of it. It’s a one time thing, right? _

“Alright,” Claire said, exhaling. “Let me know when and where. I’ll be there.”

“Actually, I insist I come and pick you up.”

“Oh, thank you but that’s really not nece-”

“Claire, you shouldn’t have to spend a single penny making up for my misgivings. Please. I really insist.”

Now she had him. And he was right. He  _ did  _ screw up in a major way and she shouldn’t have to pay for it, in any form. But...she could at least give him this one last chance to prove to her he wasn’t a shit human being.

“Alright, since you insist. Here’s my address.”

She took out her notepad and scribbled her flat’s address on it. Frank smiled and took it from her, then excused himself to get back to work.

\---

_ >>>Save me, O Scottish Warrior! _

**<<<What are ye on about, Sassenach? Ye alright?**

_ >>>Yes, it’s just...I’m out to dinner with Frank… _

**<<<Och, I told that clotheid never tae go anywhere near ye! I’ll kill him for ye, vengeance laid at yer feet, my lady.**

_ >>>LMAO, no it’s nothing like that, I promise. It’s just...he’s spent the entire night just talking about himself, and I can’t get a word in edgewise! The only good thing about this night is I’m getting dinner and wine for free. _

**<<<If I’d taken ye out, yer pocketbook would be hidden from ye indefinitely ;)**

_ >>>Are you asking me out, James Fraser? _

**<<<Maaaaaaaaaybe xD**

_ >>>LOL you’re incorrigible!  _

**<<<Ye like that about me, Sassenach. Only reason why ye keep me around, aye? ;D**

_ >>>Well...not the only reason… _

Frank came back from the bathroom just in time for Claire to put her phone away and endure what would be another hour of Frank bragging about accomplishments she was sure were made up.

\---

If the dinner was the worst thing Claire could’ve imagined happening to her, what greeted her at work was a thousand times worse.

“Is it true, Claire?” Geillis asked, practically dancing around her. “Are ye and Frank actually together?!”

Claire just stared at her incredulously before saying, “no, of course not! We had dinner but that was a one time thing. His way of making up for being a complete arse to me. And the SAS.”

“Weel, that’s no what Frank’s been blabberin’ on about all mornin’. He’s been sayin’ the twa of ye are official. Hasna stopped!”

“That insufferable bastard!” Claire found it hard to keep her voice down. She couldn’t believe what Geillis was saying. But then again, she  _ did  _ wonder why so many people were staring at her in a different way when she walked into the A&E this morning. Like they just…  _ knew.  _ Thinking back, she couldn’t tell if they were jealous, happy for her, or just downright judgemental and disapproving.

She wanted to run and hide. Go back to her flat and prepare to move to Antarctica. She couldn’t believe this was happening to her. But Claire Beauchamp doesn’t run away from her problems. She faces them head on and makes them go away.

But then again...this wasn’t a patient dying in her A&E. This was, in so many words, one of her bosses making an unprofessional fool of her. Without her input.

How she was going to survive this mortifying onslaught, she didn’t know.

\---

Jamie was in a great mood all day.

He started with several good calls that had happy endings, got in a good nap at the station (which were rare considering those bunks were anything but comfortable) and towards the end of the shift, the entire station surprised him with an impromptu ceremony for promotion. Which, he knew from his other colleagues’ say so, came with a pay raise.

He’d gone from grunt level paramedic to senior paramedic, which meant he now had the ability to precept new trainees coming into the force.

Jamie was ready for this. And he was beyond proud of himself for his achievements. But he knew he couldn’t have done it without a certain Sassenach doctor. A lot of what he’d learned over the last few months was thanks to her constant encouragement and on-the-spot medical teachings. He couldn’t be more thankful for her in his life.

When he was getting off work that night, he texted Claire.

**>>>Guess who got promoted? And no, before ye say anything, it wasna Rupert.**

_ <<<You got a promotion?! That’s great! Congratulations!! Drinks to celebrate at my place? _

**<<<Is that a date request, Sassenach? I dinna ken, I’ve got a pretty full schedule lined up fer tonight.**

_ >>>Suuuuure you do :P _

**<<<LOL I kid. Come by yer place round 8?**

_ >>>Sounds like a plan :D _

Jamie looked up her address from his place and learned that she didn’t live too far away from him.

“Would be a nice stroll,” Jamie said to no one in his room. “Could always use the exercise.”

He took a shower and dried himself off. He threw on a T-shirt, his favorite tartan wool-lined jacket, boxers, jeans, laced up a worn pair of trainers, grabbed his wallet and locked his flat up behind him.

He made a pit stop at a local corner store and purchased their best whisky and a bottle of wine for Claire, then continued his trek towards her place. His heart felt light, and he looked up in the Scottish sky and saw there was nothing but stars and a full moon out. He smiled at the hunk of rock in the sky. 

Just before he was at the steps leading towards her 3rd floor front door, Jamie saw a shadow leaning against the wall. That shadow stepped out and confronted Jamie, anger and rage practically radiating from his body.

“You,” the voice growled, and Jamie instantly recognized it as Frank.

“Me. The newly promoted senior paramedic. At your service,” Jamie mocked as he bowed slightly. But his expression grew serious. “Ye shouldna be here, Frank. I’m fairly certain Claire doesna want ye around.”

“Shut up!” Frank snarled. “You cannot have her. She belongs to me! Me, I tell you!”

“I canna say I’m in agreement there, mate. I think Claire made it verra clear who she wants tae be with. And it’s no you.”

_ Claire spent the entire shift disproving rumors that her and Frank were a couple. It was infuriating, embarrassing, and eventually started taking away from her ability to do her job. She decided enough was enough. She walked right into Frank’s office without knocking, and didn’t care that he was in a conference with the family of a patient. _

_ “This has gone far enough. Dr. Randall!” She exclaimed, ignoring the shocked looks from the people sitting in the chairs in front of Frank’s desk. _

_ “Dr. Beauchamp, professionalism aside, or lack thereof, I am in the middle of a confidential conference and you’re interrupting. Perhaps we can talk when-” _

_ “No, you listen to me, Frank. And  _ actually  _ listen to me, unlike what you did at the restaurant.” _

_ Frank just blinked and his consultation slipped out of the room, clearly not wanting to be anywhere near this developing situation. _

_ “I gave you another chance because I believe you wanted to try and be friends again. But now, I come into work and find that you lied to everyone! About me! How dare you!” _

_ Frank just smirked, which only fueled Claire’s ire. “It doesn’t matter. People believe what they want, and you know it.” _

_ Claire took a deep breath to prevent herself from throttling him. “This ends. Now. I don’t want to see you anymore. I don’t want you talking to me unless it’s about work. I will not be treated like some toy!” _

_ Before Frank to respond, Claire tore out of his office, slamming the door behind him. _

“I highly suggest ye leave, Frank, ‘afore things get ugly,” Jamie warned. No way in hell was this idiot going to mess with Jamie’s night of celebration.

“Finally,” Frank said dangerously, pulling a club out from behind him, “something we can agree upon.”

Jamie barely had time to react as the bottles of alcohol in his arms shattered onto the concrete below him.

\---

“What was that?” Claire asked the air, hearing a smashing of glass outside. But she went on fixing the massive beehive of matted hair on her head. About 10 minutes later, she gave up and threw it into a messy bun to one side, knowing Jamie wouldn’t care what her hair looked like.

She thought back to all the conversations and interactions she’d ever had with Jamie, and smiled. He’d been nothing but a gentleman towards her. He was always kind and considerate of her feelings, was always interested in what she had to say, and he always acted like she was the only one in the room, no matter where they were.

She looked at the clock on the wall in the hallway, and it read half past eight.

“That’s odd,” Claire said to herself, “Jamie’s never late for anything. I don’t think it’s even in his biological programming.”

She walked over to her living room window, to see if he was on his way.

And her heart dropped at what she saw.

Without any shoes on, she raced down the two flights of metal stairs towards the first floor and outside her building.

Jamie lay on his side, his limbs drawn up close to his core, but he wasn’t moving. Claire feared the worst.

“Jamie!” Claire rolled Jamie onto his back, and she let out a cry. His face was swollen, bruised, and bloody. His throat looked like someone tried to choke the life out of him. His wrist was clearly broken and his light-colored T-shirt was covered in blood. But his hands were the critical key. There were defensive wounds on both sets of knuckles.

Someone attacked him. And he tried, and failed to defend himself.

“I’m sorry Claire,” a voice called out. The same one she’d been dreaded ever hearing again. She whipped her head around to see Frank standing behind her, with a bloodied club in his hands, but he looked equally worse for wear. “Bloody Scot gave me no choice.”

“FRANK YOU BASTARD!” Claire cried out, but Frank was already walking away.

Claire pushed Frank’s barbaric actions from her mind as she focused on Jamie. He was still breathing, but it was severely labored and his pulse was rapid and weak. He had to have been bleeding internally. She couldn’t stop the tears from flowing down her face.

_ This can’t be happening! It can’t! Jamie just got promoted! And… there’s still so much I need to tell him! _

In the chaos, she realized she didn’t have her mobile on her. She fished out Jamie’s phone and immediately dialed 999.

“I’m an off duty doctor and I need an ambulance! Corner of Mabel Lane and Prestopane Avenue. There’s been an assault. Please hurry!”


	6. Chapter 6

* * *

The next 24 hours were a whirlwind for Claire.

She waited next to Jamie for the ambulance to show up, all the while trying to keep him conscious. It was a failure from the start considering Frank practically beat him into a coma. He wasn’t opening his eyes on her very loud commands; a very poor sign indeed.

Then, of course, Claire forgot that with the ambulance arriving, it’s going to be filled with people that actually know Jamie. People who work with him. His emergency services family. Angus and Willie were on the box that night, and to say they were disturbed by seeing their fellow paramedic and distant relative in such a disheveled state was an understatement.

“Do ye, erm,” Angus began as him and Willie started treating Jamie, “do ye want tae assume care? Seeing as yer an A&E doctor... ye dinna have tae if-”

“No,” Claire said, her voice cracking a bit. “No, it’s probably best I don’t. I’m...too close to the situation...just...I know I don’t need to say it but-”

“Dinna fash yerself, lass. We’ll take good care o’ our Jamie. He’s a braw lad, being part MacKenzie, ye ken. Bein’ a Fraser only helps more.”

Angus placed a hand on her shoulder and went back to work. The police arrived to investigate and they asked Claire a bunch of questions, none of which she had many answers to. But she told them the truth. That her...wait, what even  _ was  _ Frank to her, outside of work? A friend? Former love interest? Definitely her superior at work, but nothing more. So she left it at that. By the time the police were done talking to her, Angus and Willie had already taken Jamie by ambulance to the hospital. Raigmore, no doubt. The one place that started it all.

Claire would be damned if it ended there, too.

\---

“He has sustained numerous injuries,” one of Jamie’s doctors told Claire, Jenny and Ian, who had arrived as soon as they could after Claire called them. “Significant bruising over most of his upper body, both externally and internally, a broken wrist, which has already been set and plastered. But what concerns me the most is the head injury. We’ve done a few head scans and the most we’ve seen is a major concussion. But...he’s still unconscious and unresponsive. We won’t know how he’ll fare mentally until he wakes up.”

Claire’s insides ran cold. Jenny started sobbing in Ian’s arms.

“If he wakes up,” the doctor added. Claire’s head snapped up, anger flashing through her eyes.

_ “What do you mean ‘if’?!” _

The doctor gave her an empathetic look. “As you might be aware, a concussion can impact a person’s consciousness severely. The scans can show us the physical aspect of the brain, but-”

“It can’t show us how those images reflect on the patient’s mental state,” Claire finished. The doctor grinned at her, but she didn’t see anything to smile about, so she sustained her stoic, somber expression.

“If it were anyone else, I wouldn’t even suggest it, but as an A&E doctor, Claire, you’re more than welcome to look at the scans for yourself. Make your own determination. It’s your choice.”

Claire pondered on that for a moment. Surely, Jenny and Ian would want her to look deeper into it, make sure the doctors were doing right by Jamie. Even though this was Claire’s first time meeting Jamie’s sister and brother-in-law face to face, and despite the nature of their meeting, they’d already taken a quick liking to her. It made her wonder what Jamie must have told them.

But, like she told Angus at the scene, she was too close to the situation. Jamie was on his way to see her. In a way, she  _ could  _ blame herself for this mess; him coming over was her idea, after all. If she was being honest with herself, she hoped someone blamed her. It might make the guilt easier to bear. If nothing else, her even being at the hospital with him could be perceived as a conflict of interest if she got involved in his care. 

She shook her head, took a deep breath, and said, “I’ll consider it, but right now...I’d just really like to see Jamie.”

The doctor nodded, told them they could see Jamie one at a time in his room, and then took his leave.

Claire sank into a chair in the conference room they were brought into and took another deep breath. She tried her damndest not to let the negative thoughts plaguing her mind consume her. But eventually, it would need to be asked.

_ What if Jamie never woke up? _

“Claire,” the sound of Ian’s voice snapped Claire out of her tormental trance. 

She looked up at him. “Yes?”

“Jenny canna bear tae see her brother right now. Neither can I fer that matter. If ye wanted tae see him first, go ahead. We’re gonna head down tae the food court. Will ye be needin’ anythin’? Coffee? Tea? Scones?”

Claire smiled at Ian’s thoughtfulness. This was Jamie’s family; Jenny by blood and Ian by marriage. And Ians’ willingness to include her in their family, despite only meeting her a few hours before, meant the world to her. It was obvious now that Jamie had told them a great deal about her. She kept up her smile at that thought.

“No, I’m fine, hunger wise. Thank you, Ian.” She paused for a moment, her facial expression pensive. “You could’ve sent me away...you know...because usually the ICU ward is for family only...but-”

“Och, dinna fash at that, lass,” Ian waved a dismissive hand. “In Jamie’s eyes, ye are family. Christ, if anything, the way he talks about ye, in his mind’s eye, yer already his wife!”

Claire gulped at that, her heart skipping a beat. The name  _ Claire Elizabeth Fraser _ rolled through her own mind’s eye at the thought of being married to Jamie, and for a heartbeat, the name sounded nice.

“Oh, well, I doubt I’m  _ that  _ important to him,” Claire couldn’t even convince herself of that notion. If the way Jamie had already treated her was any consolation, the exact opposite was the truth.

Ian must also be a mind reader because the next thing he said was, “somethin’ tells me even ye dinna believe that.”

Claire’s smile turned sheepish, her fair cheeks blossoming with shades of crimson, but she stayed silent for a moment longer. “I’ll go see him. If anything changes, you and Jenny will be the first to hear about it.”

“Never doubted that, lass.” Ian bowed slightly before her, and then hobbled off to go find his wife. Claire took notice, for the first time, that Ian walked with a slight limp, one that wouldn’t be noticed if one wasn’t paying close enough attention. And at least one of his legs made a soft metallic  _ clink _ with each step. She shook her head of the thought and made her way down towards Jamie’s room.

\---

The sight of Jamie lying motionless and broken in a hospital bed, attached to monitors and IVs, broke Claire’s heart. Se expected the usual stuff: the vital signs machines, the blood pressure cuff around his upper right arm, the IV catheter in his left hand, and the pulse oximeter clip on his left index finger. What she was alarmed to see was that he was intubated. Which meant he wasn’t breathing on his own.

She all but threw herself into the chair by his bedside, and laid her head down next to his arm, the ventilator and monitor echoing the sound of his heart the only noises keeping her company.

“Oh, Jamie,” she whispered, as though afraid to wake him.

Someone walked in behind her and startled her for a moment. But she recognized the nurse by her face rather than her nametag. Isobel Dunsany is a bubbly blonde who takes great pleasure in doing her nursing duties right the first time. Claire knew her because she occasionally aided the A&E staff; being an ICU nurse gave her the advantage of handling the most severe cases that came through their doors.

“Claire!” She said immediately. Claire stood up as if to give her room to do her job, but was surprised when Isobel wrapped her arms around her. Claire hugged her back, feeling the start of waterworks coming to her eyes. “I’m so sorry about all this. It wasn’t your fault, please know that.”

Claire looked up from the embrace and blinked. “How do you know what happened?”

Isobel blushed. “Willie. He told me when I saw him outside the A&E. He’s...” She blushed a little bit. “Well, we’ve sort of been...seeing each other.”

“Oh wow, that’s good,” Claire attempted to sound happy for her, but she couldn’t ignore the small ping of jealousy in her heart. She cleared her throat before saying, “so...what can you tell me?”

Isobel sobered before speaking. “The only reason Jamie’s intubated is protocol. His injuries were so grave when he got here, his doctor was worried he’d become agitated and his head injury would not have a chance to heal properly. So, for the time being, he’s been placed in a medically induced coma. Truthfully, it’s the only reason he’s in the ICU. To monitor that. All the other injuries are superficial at worse. He could be recovering at home if it weren’t for the bump to the head.”

_ That’s putting it lightly,  _ Claire thought. She’d seen the club in Frank’s hands back at her place. And the blood that covered it.

It brought up more questions, though. She’d told Frank she didn’t want to see him again. He couldn’t have known Jamie was on his way to see her prior to. If Frank just wanted to be a creepy stalker, why did he bring a weapon?

Her heart froze at the revelation and she sat down. Isobel must’ve noticed the color drain from Claire face for she poured her a styrofoam cup of ice water from the plastic pitcher on the nightstand beside Jamie’s bed.

“Are you alright, Claire?”

“He was coming for me,” was all Claire said.

“Who was?”

“The man who attacked Jamie. Frank Randall.”

“Wait... _ the  _ Frank Randall? The same creeper who frequents some of my patients here?” She lowered her voice to a harsh whisper and gestured towards Jamie. “ _ He did this?! _ ”

Claire didn’t dare speak. She didn’t need to. And in that moment, her suspicions and fears about the man who’d tried, and failed, to desperately win her heart, almost with money itself, were not only confirmed but not as delusional as she once thought. She let out a sigh she didn’t know she’d been holding in, and sank back into the chair beside Jamie.

Claire really did have a glass face, because Isobel came up next to her, placed a hand on her shoulder, and said, “you’re not the first woman in this hospital to be put off by him. But you are the first one to stand up to him. Truthfully, there were a lot of people whispering their praise for you on that.”

Claire stared at Isobel, but the ICU nurse’s expression didn’t change. It was clear she was one of them. Isobel gave Claire a friendly pat on the shoulder, made some notes on his chart on the rolling computer stand she’d dragged in the room with her, then left Claire alone with Jamie, and her thoughts.

The icy cold dread started eating a hole in her stomach at her the longer Claire sat.

_ Frank never intended to hurt Jamie. Jamie was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. Oh my god...Frank was...planning to attack me. Frank was planning to attack me. FRANK WAS PLANNING TO ATTACK ME! _

The proverbial dam in her heart was destroyed in a flood of anger, panic, sorrow, and grief. The tears she’d been holding back all night finally broke loose and she didn’t try to stop them. She cried, sobbed for an unknown amount of time. And all the while she didn’t let go of Jamie’s unplastered hand.

Nor was she silent about it.

“I’m so sorry, Jamie,” she wailed as softly as she could. She knew, being in a medically induced coma, not even the strongest hurricane or an earthquake could wake Jamie up, but he wasn’t the only sleeping patient on the floor. “I’m so sorry. I should have never asked you to come over last night. I should have insisted we hit up a pub, or maybe gone to your place. Frank only wanted to hurt me. And I would have let him if it meant you were safe.”

She froze as the words of the last sentence left her lips. All these months of being Jamie’s friend while secretly pining for his affection, all this time of their quirky texting and inside jokes, all the times where she’d secretly wished Jamie was something more than just a friend. Ian’s words rang inside Claire’s head for a moment.

_ “...if anything, the way he talks about ye, in his mind’s eye, yer already his wife!” _

Claire looked up at Jamie’s still unmoving form with tear filled blurry eyes. Despite being intubated, black and blue with injury, and blood still showing from his hairline, she couldn’t have convinced herself, nor could anyone else for that matter, that he wasn’t the most beautiful man in the entire universe. And thinking back on all their interactions, it was pretty clear to Claire that Jamie felt the same way.

He treated her like a queen even when she felt she didn’t deserve it. And she would even try to tell him so. But he’d always brush it off like the stubborn Scot he was.

_ “Dinna fash yerself, Sassenach. Women should be treated like the queens they are, ye ken. And, so far, yer the only one who’s been bold enough tae hang around me.” _

What Claire had originally thought was Jamie just being nice suddenly had a different meaning. Jamie, from her perspective, didn’t really have any other female friends. Sure, he worked with other female paramedics, and most of the call takers were female, but she was pretty sure she was the only one Jamie sought out after a hard shift.

Had it been that obvious the whole time?

“Jamie...” she took another breath, trying to put her true feelings into words without choking up. She needed to say this. Needed Jamie to hear this. Whether he was awake or not. “Oh Jamie...I love you. I have loved you since the moment you brought that allergic reaction patient into my A&E. I cannot for the life of me imagine not knowing you, or having you in my life. I need you. More than you’ll ever know. And you goddamn better wake up, you bloody Scot, so I can tell you all of this again!”

It took several deep breaths and more crying for Claire to fall asleep at Jamie’s bedside, her hand still enveloped in his much larger one. She didn’t notice that Jenny and Ian had returned to the room before she fell asleep. And she’d never notice that they’d heard every single word of her confession.

“Do ye think we should wake her?” Ian whispered to Jenny, his arms around her middle from behind.

“Nay,” Jenny smiled. “‘Asides, dinna ken yer thinkin’ but I think Claire needs a wee bit more time wi’ him.”

“Ye ken Jamie’s gonna be ecstatic tae hear her confession when he wakes up, aye?”

“Och aye,” Jenny giggled. “Tis about time too. Was startin’ tae get tired of my baby brother talkin’ constantly about her. Maybe now, he can live his dreams o’ being her man in reality, rather than his heid.”

Jenny tiptoed over towards the small nightstand in the far corner of the room. She wrote a small note directed at Claire, and left it where she could find it. Jenny and Ian didn’t leave for their hotel room until Jenny had draped a blanket over Claire’s shoulders, and both the Murrays had given their love to Jamie. 

Claire didn’t wake until she felt a hand squeeze hers lightly. When she looked up, she all but panicked when she saw it was Jamie’s hand gripping hers with as much strength as he could.

And his ocean blue eyes were open.

\---

_ There are times where yer life flashes ‘afore yer eyes. Moments of great peril or exciting adventures. _

_ The moment I went down on the pavement outside Claire’s flat after taking on beating and beating from Frank’s bat was one of those time fer me. Right ‘afore a world of darkness closed in around my vision. _

_ Things I thought I’d long forgotten, though I knew I never could. _

_ The birth of Jenny’s first bairn, James Alexander Gordon Fraser Murray. Jenny and Ian, despite my insistence tae the contrary, felt I deserved tae have a nephew named after me. The wee lad has been a light in my life ever since. _

_ My father’s funeral. I’ll never forget that phone call from my uncle, Dougal, tellin’ me the worst news anyone in this industry could get. I didna even weep at his services, even when they handed me the Scottish flag draped over the coffin. It wasna til I was in my room alone did I let it all out.  _

_ My brother’s death as well. Died in a fire, similar tae what our Da would eventually go through. I was still in high school when he died. Both of them went out the same way, doin’ wha’ they loved. _

_ My mother’s own demise tae childbirth, tryin’ tae bring into the world a little brother fer me. Da insisted on having my wee brother baptized, so he was named Robert. Jenny and Willie always told me they would’ve called him “Robbie” had he lived. I was only about eight or so, barely old enough tae comprehend such a loss. All I knew was me Mam was gone, and I would forever be the youngest Fraser.  _

_ Paramedic school graduation, wi’ my father, Jenny and Ian in the audience watching me. All o’ them had smiles and looks of pride on their faces as I was handed my certification, a stethoscope draped around my neck as a rite of passage into the medical field. Little did I know, Da would be dead a week later. _

_ Meeting Claire fer the first time. My Sorcha. My light. Mo chridhe. My heart. Mo nighean donn. My brown haired lass. My Sassenach. As much as I loved my nephew, Claire was the turning point in my life. She made me want tae be a better man. She made me want fer things in life I’d never considered ‘afore. I wanted tae be her everything. Her husband. The father of her bairns. I wanted tae be her light as weel. _

_ In that time of darkness, I dinna ken how long it really was, I heard the sound of crying, and felt wetness on my hand, dripping softly as if I were left in the rain. Then, I heard words being spoken tae me. _

_ They were hard tae hear at first, but then it became clear. _

_ “I love you, Jamie.” _

_ Claire… _

_ Claire… _

_ CLAIRE! _

\---

There was a flurry of activity the moment Jamie’s monitors started going haywire as he started choking on his endotracheal tube. Claire shouted for help and Isobel, as well as other ICU staff she didn’t know the names of, surrounded Jamie’s bed. Claire wanted to step out of the way, and knew she would eventually be pushed out of the room so they could do their jobs, but when no one paid her any mind, she couldn’t help but stare at Jamie. 

Once the tube was removed from his throat, he was taking in deep yet wheezy breaths as if he were a newborn breathing air for the first time. His doctor showed up just in time for Jamie to say something.

Claire’s heart dropped at the sound of his rough, tight voice.

“ _ Sassenach. _ ” And Jamie’s eyes were locked onto hers.

After a quick exam, Claire and Jamie were left alone, but not before the doctor pulled Claire aside and told her that, “while it might be too early to tell, I’m willing to say Mr. Fraser is a lucky man. We’ll do another scan of his head later on, but I don’t think his concussion will have any lasting effects on him.” Claire thanked him and went to sit beside Jamie, his hand outstretched and ready to reclaim hers.

“Oh Jamie.” Claire said after getting settled in her chair. She bent over and leaned her forehead against their clasped hands.

“Scairt ye a wee bit, didna I?” Jamie rasped, his voice still hoarse from the tube. He had an enclosed jog of ice water with a straw sticking out clutched between his side and his arm since his hand and wrist were still in its plaster.

Claire scoffed. “Understatement.” Both of them shared a quiet chuckle. “Jamie, I-”

“I know.” Jamie cut her off, causing her to look at him. He tried to smile, but Claire had a feeling his swollen face and blackened eyes were making it too painful. “I, erm...I heard ye...yer wee cries fer me...I dinna ken how, but...” He let his sentence trail off, a flush starting to cover his cheeks.

“Y-You...heard me?”

“Aye,” Jamie smiled, but Claire was noticing his speech slurred a bit.  _ Must be the concussion,  _ she thought. His eyes started to close again, no doubt from the extreme effort of keeping them open while being so swollen, but before he did, he said, very softly, “I love ye too,  _ mo ghràidh. _ ” And then, he was out again, breathing comfortably on his own.

Claire sat there stunned. More from professional embarrassment than anything else; in the chaos of the last forty-eight hours, it hadn’t dawned on her that despite being medically comatose, Jamie was asleep, not deaf. He could hear her almost as well as if he were fully conscious with no bumps to the head.

Her heart leaped at the thought.

_ Jamie loves me. _

But, at the same time, he wasn’t exactly in a position to be making cohesive, informed decisions. Especially on whom he may, or may not, love; including her. So, she left him to sleep and walked down towards the staff only elevator and asked one of the ICU staff members to let her down to A&E so she could get some fresh air outside in the ambulance bay.

On her way down, she was passed by several coppers and they were leading a man away in handcuffs.

A man who looked an awful lot like Frank.

“Claire!” Geillis’ voice made Claire whip her head around to face her. The fiery headed Scotswoman grabbed Claire by the arm and dragged her towards the policemen and Frank. Geillis spoke for her. “‘Ere she is, officer! The Sassenach ye were askin’ about?”

All of the law enforcement officers turned Frank around to face them, and for the first time, Claire got to see what Jamie did to him. And she was not only impressed, but mentally doing cheerleader tumbles in praise for him. 

Jamie kicked Frank’s arse!

His face looked a lot worse than Jamie’s, with one eye completely closed shut under a puffy mess of blacks, blues, and purples. He had bandages covering one of his ears, with was stained with drying blood, and his jaw looked more deformed than it usually was, which meant that Jamie more than likely punched Frank in the face so hard, it fractured his jawbone. His head was wrapped in a vertical circle from chin to the top of his head, so he couldn’t speak. But his face said everything Claire needed to know: he was guilty of putting Jamie in the ICU.  _ The fucking bastard. _

“Madam,” the dark haired officer said to Claire, his thick, Highlander lilt not unlike Jamie’s, “I apologize fer disturbing ye, but we need you tae confirm a few things.” With the help of his fellow comrades, he forced Frank to look Claire in the face fully, not giving him a chance to fight back. Even if he wasn’t injured, Claire doubted he would’ve fought against them. He knew he fucked up. “This man has been accused o’ beating a man outside yer flat in the late hours, two days ago. Can ye confirm his identity?”

Frank’s face turned from stoically terrified, to actually terrified. Geillis released Claire’s arm and the English doctor took a few steps forward, leaned down at eye level, and looked at Frank.  _ Really  _ looked at him. Neither of them blinked. The barest hint of a vindictive smile twitched at the corners of her lips, and she made sure only Frank could see it.

“Yes sir,” Claire replied, standing back up and looking at the officer. “This is the man who attacked my boyfriend.”

One of the officers had a small notepad in his hands and was jotting down what Claire said. Claire ignored the stiffled squirming from Geillis behind her, knowing full well her “fresh air time” was going to be cut short to nothing; Geillis was a magnant for hospital gossip and she’d want all the details.

“I see,” the officer who initiated the conversation replied, “and what is his name? Yer boyfriend, I mean.”

Claire looked down at Frank. “Jamie Fraser. Senior Paramedic for the Scottish Ambulance Service.”

Frank froze as Jamie’s name left Claire’s lips, as if Frank truly didn’t know what Jamie did for a living. She supposed it could’ve been possible.  _ No, not possible at all _ , she thought, _ given that confrontation at Pub Leoch. _ Flashbacks to that night where Frank had spat out one discriminating insult after another at Jamie and his relatives, as if being Scottish made them inferior to the English. _ What is this, the 18th century?! The audacity! Bastard Randall _ . She knew it was just an act.

“A paramedic, ye say,” the officer asked, and then glared down at Frank. “We take assault on a public servant to the Crown verra seriously, Mr. Randall.” The officer taking notes asked a few more questions related to the assault, then the officer still holding Frank looked back up at Claire and smiled. “Thank ye fer yer time, milady.” And they dragged Frank out towards a waiting patrol car.

Before Geillis could pounce onto Claire for information on her relationship with Jamie, she raced outside and took in lungfuls of air, trying to steady her nerves.

At least now, it was all over. Frank Randall could never get to her or Jamie or any of his family ever again. The only thing left was seeing that Jamie healed up enough to go home.

That...and figuring out what Claire was going to do about her supposed new-found relationship with her Scottish paramedic.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jamie goes home to Lallybroch to recover from his injuries. Jenny has a heart to heart talk with Claire about Jamie's past.

* * *

Jamie managed to recover his facilities enough to be discharged home. Claire didn’t hesitate to take some time off from work to be by his side. His doctor instructed him to not be alone during this time, should his concussion deteriorate him. Plus, with only one functional arm for the next six weeks, he would need help getting around. 

Dougal had stopped by to give him his time off paperwork.

“Dinna need any o’ this, Uncle,” Jamie had grumbled. “I’ll be fine enough tae-”

“Yer no fine and ye ken it well,” Dougal spat back, clearly in no mood for Jamie’s usual stubbornness. “Ye canna mean tae go tae work in plaster and yer heid knocked loose. Give yerself time tae heal, dear nephew. There’s plenty o’ lads willing tae cover ye. Colum has already paid yer medical bills, so no need tae get the NHS involved. Go home tae her sister and brother in law, and those wee bairns. I do think they miss ye something awful, ye ken?”

Jamie relented eventually and accepted his medical leave. Dougal pulled Claire aside while Jamie got dressed out of his hospital gown and into clothes Ian had brought.

“Look out fer the lad, will ye? He can be just as stubborn as his mam was. Ellen Fraser was my big sister, ye ken. ‘Tis my duty tae look out for her youngest bairn.”

“Of course,” Claire reassured him. Dougal smiled and kissed her on the cheek before bowing and taking his leave. Claire knew if it were anyone else kissing her cheek, she’d be disgusted. But Dougal had become something of an uncle to her himself; almost as if her own Uncle Lamb had never departed the world. She was once again smitten by Jamie’s family’s love for her presence.

“Sassenach!” Jamie called out, “can ye helped me into this blasted chair?”

Claire briskly walked back into his room and saw he was fully dressed and ready to go, his discharge paperwork and at-home care instructions already packed away.

“So...where is home for you, Jamie?” Claire asked him as he was situating himself in a wheelchair to be taken down towards an awaiting car. She was certain Jenny or Ian would be picking them up; she’d called them on Jamie’s behalf. She knew that Jamie’s stubbornness was more from pride and habit than from an actual need to function on his own as he face lit up at the mention of home.

“Lallybroch,” Jamie breathed, his smile widening. “More specifically, Broch Tuarach.”

Claire starts wheeling Jamie away from the ICU and down towards the first floor. “What’s it like there?”

Jamie turns his head around to face Claire, his smile never faltering. “You’ll see once we get there.” But his smile did fall for a split second. “Ye will...be coming with me tae Lallybroch...won’t ye, Sassenach?”

“Of course I will,” Claire reassured him. “I’ve already taken the time off. If nothing else, I think your uncles will kill me if I don’t keep you in line.”

Jamie laughed. “Weel...I doubt that. Dougal and Colum have taken a strict liking tae ye. Ye could burn the entire world and they’d still think verra highly o’ ye.”

“What about Jenny and Ian? Do you think they’d approve of me ‘burning the entire world’?”

“Ah, ye met them? While I was in hospital?”

“Yes, they came by a few times. Despite the dire circumstances, they appear to really like me. Makes me wonder what enormous lies you told your family.”

They both laughed this time. Jamie turned back to face Claire, and the sparkle in his eyes nearly stopped Claire’s heart. 

“Only the truth, Sassenach.” He tried, and failed, to wink at her but it just came across as a drunken blink. Claire laughed harder as Jamie’s face turned bright red, rivaling his hair.

They made it outside and Ian was waiting for them with Jenny’s SUV. The nicer one, Jamie recognized, where the ride would be smoother on Scotland’s more bumpier roads leading back to Lallybroch.

“Welcome back tae the world o’ the livin’ Jamie!” Ian called out, coming towards the pair of them. Claire gave Ian a hug, and Ian gave Jamie a light pat on the shoulder.

Within a few minutes, the three of them were on the road. Headed to Lallybroch.

\---

“Och, ye mongrels! Let your uncle in peace, canna ye see he’s pained?!” Jenny called after her children as they proceeded to try and tackle Jamie the way they always did when he visited. Jenny helped Claire and Ian with getting Jamie out of the truck and inside the house. “Glad yae see ye home, safe and sound, brother.”

“Good tae be home, Janet,” Jamie replied, kissing her cheek.

Everyone clambered into the house. Claire helped Jamie upstairs and into his old room and got him settled into bed. She checked his pupils and assessed his other injuries, and administered his pain medication. Once Jamie was asleep, Claire made her way downstairs. She really wanted to get to know Jamie’s family now that the crisis was behind them.

Claire found them in the spacious, sprawling living room. Jenny was sitting on one of the couches with a cup of tea in her hands, feet propped up on an ottoman, and Ian was sitting in a recliner. Claire noticed that there was a metallic prosthetic leg sitting to his right side.  _ So that’s what I heard at the hospital,  _ she thought. She settled herself beside Jenny, who offered her her own cup of tea, which she accepted.

“So, Claire,” Ian started, “where’re ye from?”

“Well, I was born in Oxford...” Claire began, “but I kind of grew up all over the world. My uncle was an archeologist, and I would help him on his expeditions.”

“Sounds terribly excitin’,” Ian smiled.

“Aye,” Jenny chimed in. “Canna imagine no’ living at Lallybroch, truth be told.”

“Well, my parents died when I was five, and Uncle Lamb was my only relative. He tried to send me to an all girls boarding school, but I did all I could to sabotage that plan of his.”

Jenny and Ian laughed at that. “Jamie tells us yer a doctor at A&E,” Jenny said.

“That’s right,” Claire sipped her tea. The calming herbs did wonders for her soul. “This is my first year officially out of residency as an emergency physician. It’s been quite a ride, if I do say so myself.”

Jenny and Ian exchanged a look that Claire couldn’t quite read, then Ian put his metal prosthetic back on his right leg, stood and said, “Imma go check on the bairns. Never a good sign when ye canna hear them, eh?” Ian walked towards Claire and placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. “Glad ye made it tae Lallybroch, Claire. Yer always welcome here.”

Claire just smiled and nodded and watched the brave amputee walk outside.

“Firefighting,” Jenny piped up after he left. Claire turned around and gave Jenny a quizzical look. Jenny pointed in Ian’s wandering direction and continued, “Ian, like our Da and brother, was a firefighter. Burnin’ roof collapsed onto him a few years back. Given it took quite a while for him tae be rescued, we were surprised all he lost was his leg. Coulda verra well been his life. But, I’m thankful fer what we got. The fire service offered him a sizeable pension and gave him a job runnin’ the service’s fiscal department. Does verra well at that, he does.

“Listen, Claire, not that I’m no grateful ye’ve taken an interest in my brother. Lord kens he needs someone good in his life. But...ye need tae know exactly what yer getting into wi’ Jamie.”

“I don’t know what you mean,” Claire tried to bluff, but her glass face was a readable as any new book. Jenny just smiled.

“Ian and I overheard yer wee love confession tae Jamie a few days past, ye ken. I could tell ye meant it from yer heart. All I ask is ye don’t break his in the process. Aye?”

Claire furrowed her brows even further. Jenny figured as much and went on.

“This industry Jamie works in. Public service. It...it’s cost him a lot in his life. Our father, Brian, and our aulder brother Willie...they were both firefighters. And they both lost their lives doin’ their duty tae the Crown. It damn near broke Jamie...”

Claire sensed it coming and decided to speak on it. “But...”

“It was his fiance at the time...Laoghaire...who did the most damage tae him.”

Claire’s heart skipped a beat.

“Laoghaire and Jamie were engaged tae get married a few years ago. Two couldna keep their hands off each other tae save their lives. And we truly believed Jamie settlin’ down ‘afore going through paramedic school would’ve done him some good. But...Laoghaire died in a car crash just before they were to wed.

“I’ve watched my little brother grow into the man ye see before ye. When he was just a wee bairn upon our mother’s breast. I’ve had the privilege of seeing life shape him. His triumphs, his shortcomings, every time our Da had tae beat him for disobedience, I was there. So ye can imagine how I was there when we got the news that Laoghaire had died...he was a sobbin’ mess at her funeral. But it wasna her death that did the most damage.

“The damn fool of a lass was a liar and manipulator throughout. Professing her love tae Jamie all the while lying with other men. She used tae blabber on about how Jamie was ‘hers’ and ‘only hers’. Ye can see how that would be detrimental tae him. Jamie is a strictly monogamous creature. He believes if ye profess yer love tae someone, yer suppose tae mean it. And only tae them. It wasna ‘til other men showed up at her funeral and were verra distraught tae learn she had promised herself tae more than one man.”

“That’s horrible!” Claire exclaimed, probably louder than she meant. “And besides, how exactly did she think that would work? Being engaged to multiple men. It’s not like she could legally marry all of them.”

“She only wore Jamie’s ring publically. Probably because she knew how we Frasers would react tae the truth. As she should’ve been. The other fiance’s tried tae start a brawl with Jamie, right in front of the lass’ coffin, claiming tae be Laoghaire’s one true love. But it doesna matter now. We’ll never know the full story with her being gone.” Jenny crossed herself and took a breath, clearly trying to keep her anger in check; it was clear to Claire that this was something that still angered Jenny. Not that she blamed her; this was her brother after all. Claire was beginning to think the Fraser mentality was “you cross one of us, you cross all of us.” Claire respected that.

“Which brings me tae my point, Claire.” Jenny stared at Claire directly in the eye, and Claire could see the family resemblance. Jamie and Jenny had the same deep blue, slightly slanted eyes. “Dinna make my brother regret havin’ met ye. Dinna make him regret eva’ fallin’ in love wi’ ye. He’s suffered enough in his life. Can ye promise me that?”

Claire set her tea cup down, reached out, and embraced Jenny with the strongest hug she could give. She felt Jenny’s tense shoulders relax and her arms come around her own body, returning the promising squeeze around her ribcage. When they released, Claire didn’t shy away from the direct eye contact, her own amber brown eyes swimming with unspent tears.

“I truly love your brother. Hurting him is the last thing I could ever possibly do to him. You have my word. His heart is safe with me.”

\---

Two weeks went by before Jamie was able to do most things around the house with one hand (his own fortune being left handed), and without pain medication. Claire helped as much as he stubbornly allowed. Not that she was complaining; she couldn’t help wanting to be close to him.

“Yer gettin’ verra good wi’ that wee shovel, Sassenach,” Jamie commented as Claire was tending to his mother’s rose bush.

“Why, thank you, Jamie,” Claire blushed. Jamie chuckled at the sight.

“Do I make ye blush often, Claire?” Jamie asked, pushing some of her stray curls out of her face and behind her ear.

“You tend to make it worse, actually,” Claire sneered playfully. Jamie placed his good hand over his heart, feigning offense.

“Weel, I never! Such a cruel temptress ye are, Sassenach! How will my wee heart ever recover from yer insults?” Jamie started stumbling around like he was going to faint. Claire just laughed.

“I’m off duty, sir. Maybe you should call 999!”

Jamie laughed. “I’m no botherin’ those scoundrels! They’ll just laugh at me, and ye ken it well!”

“Then you’ll die of embarrassment and shame!” Claire made an attempt to tackle him, but Jamie turned at the last moment, and they toppled onto the dirt bed of the garden, Claire square on top of Jamie. Claire could feel how excited he was beneath her. She blushed harder.

“Och, ye shame me into oblivion, ye do, Sassenach,” Jamie’s husky voice started stirring things at Claire’s core. Things that she hadn’t felt in so long.

“Ye two done shaggin’ it up in the bushes, are ye?” They heard Jenny call out from the main house just around the corner from the roses. “Dinner willna keep verra long!”

Jamie and Claire exchanged sheepish grins and giggles before they got back up and made their way inside. Before Jamie knew it, he was back at work and was happily welcomed back by his brothers and sisters at the Scottish Ambulance Service. It felt almost as if he had never left.

But one thing that didn’t wane was his ever growing love for his Sassenach doctor.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With Frank finally out of the picture, Claire contemplates where to go from here. Fortunately, Jamie always seems to have the right answers.

* * *

When Jamie went back to work, Claire requested more time off. Given all that had happened, she wasn’t ready to face anyone at the hospital. She knew Frank wouldn’t be there, but it didn’t ease her mind in the slightest.

She would’ve thought that a policeman coming to Lallybroch to speak to her directly about Frank’s incarceration and upcoming trial would quell her fears.

_ “There is enough evidence tae send him tae prison and strip him o’ his license tae practice medicine. Ye dinna have tae make an appearance, though. Yer testimony is more than enough.” The policeman did not mince words when it came to cases like this, Claire surmised. But it did bring up one question. _

_ “Wait,” Claire breathed, “You said ‘enough evidence.’ Did more people come forward?” _

_ “Aye,” the policeman grinned. “Aye, quite a few nurses came forward after his rather public arrest at Raigmore. They felt brave enough tae speak up. All have sworn statements already in the magistrate’s hands, and at least one of them had physical evidence of Mr. Randall’s...accusations.” _

_ Claire breathed an unknowing sigh of relief. There was no way Frank would ever live to see the outside of a jail cell again. _

Claire knew she was being irrational. Frank would no doubt be sent back to England for sure. Hell, she wouldn’t be surprised if he somehow managed to plea his way out of a lesser sentence and then leave the UK altogether. Her mind was still weighed down though.

_ Get ahold of yourself, Beauchamp. Frank is gone. For good this time! Now you and Jamie can finally be together without anyone hurting you or getting in the way! _

Jamie. 

_ Jesus H. Roosevelt Christ... _

And then, somewhere in the back of her mind amidst the chaos raging, there was what Jenny had told her. About Jamie’s past. And this Laoghaire woman. The so called love of Jamie’s life. The one who manipulated him to the point where Jenny saw fit to give her a warning. A very clear warning.

_ “Dinna make my brother regret havin’ met ye. Dinna make him regret eva’ fallin’ in love wi’ ye. He’s suffered enough in his life.” _

And while she had promised Jenny she wouldn’t do anything to hurt Jamie, she still felt hesitant. She meant what she’d said. That she’d never give Jamie cause to regret falling for her. But sometimes...things just happen. She couldn’t predict the future. Nor could she travel to the past to fix mistakes. If she could, she would’ve never involved herself with Frank.

_ I guess what I’m scared of the most,  _ Claire continued her troubled inner monologue,  _ is that I’ll hurt Jamie without realizing I’ve done so. _

As intelligent and strong as she was, Claire knew she wasn’t infallible to misgivings.To saying the wrong thing at the wrong time. To making a crude joke that could push the boundaries of someone’s comfort or opinion of her. Hell, it was one of the reasons why she was Geillis’ best friend. But Geillis was an acquired taste. Claire didn’t see herself as such, especially when it came to Jamie. It seemed like...her and Jamie were made for each other. Like they were meant to be together.

These thoughts still plagued her when Jamie came home early the next morning. The same thought that kept her awake all night.

\---

The tall, redheaded Scottish highlander stumbled in at around just after dawn. Tired, hungry and in need of a hot shower, Jamie hadn’t felt this exhausted in a long time. The last 24 hours had been a nonstop whirlwind of calls with little to no time for rest.They weren’t too serious, but numerous ones back to back had taken their toll on him. He’d made his bunker pallet at the start of his shift, only to leave it untouched through the day and night. Jamie managed to catch one or two cat naps in the back of the ambulance on the cot, but they didn’t last long enough for him to achieve any kind of restfulness. He had to change his uniform at least once due to a patient either bleeding or puking all over him. And above all, he missed Claire. His beautiful Sassenach doctor. He imagined she would be sleeping, all bonny and serene with her hair spread out on the pillow, her breathing soft, unlabored, and content. He smiled at the thought as he slowly pushed the door to his bedroom open, praying the creaking wouldn’t wake her.

But when he walked it, he was immediately distraught to find Claire sitting in a chair, clutching a cup of coffee to her chest, and clearly out of it. He dropped his bag by the door and came to her side.

“What’s wrong,  _ a ghràidh, _ did ye no sleep?” Jamie asked.

Claire just shook her head, not meeting his eyes. Jamie’s heart clenched.

“Talk tae me,  _ mo nighean donn.  _ What troubles ye?”

Claire slowly turned her head to meet Jamie’s eyes. They were void of all their usual spark. Jamie didn’t need to say anything as he took his heart into his arms.

“Frank’s been arrested...” Claire croaked out.

“That is good, is it no’?” Jamie replied softly.

“Yes...”

“I can tell that’s isna good enough for ye, is it?”

Claire broke free from Jamie’s embrace, startling him for a moment. “None of this should have happened!” She was hysterical, and it was clear to Jamie that she’d had these thoughts and feelings bottled up for some time. He didn’t speak as she went on. “Maybe if I had been more firm on telling Frank no. Or maybe if I just hadn’t bothered with acknowledging your presence in the A&E that night, none of this would’ve happened and you wouldn’t have been hurt and-”

“Och,  _ mo chridhe _ ,” Jamie exclaimed, anguish heavy in his voice. He didn’t give Claire a chance to turn away. He wrapped his arms around her and pressed her face into his chest, kissing the top of her head. Claire returned his embrace and proceeded to weep in his arms. Her muffled sobs filled the room and Jamie felt a tear snake down from his own eye.

Claire wouldn’t have fought Jamie on his embrace even if she wanted to. For one, she was just too tired. And two...she knew, just  _ knew, _ Jamie would never do anything to hurt her. He’d been her sole comfort and protection since the moment they met. He’d been her cheerleader, her biggest fan, even when she didn’t realize it. And she knew his entire family would go to hell and back backing him up.

For the first time in a while...she felt  _ safe. _

“Claire,” Jamie began. She looked up at him and he wiped away her tears with the gentlest pad of his thumb. “If it meant protecting you...if everything I’ve suffered meant ye were happy and safe...I’d do it all over again. In a heartbeat. Ye can count on that,  _ a leannan. _ ”

Claire smiled up at him and he returned that smile as she wiped away his own tears.

“Marry me, Claire.”

She blinked, stunned.

“What?”

“Ye heard me, Sassenach. I canna imagine no’ living my life without ye in it. Ye’ve been my heart’s blood for sae long. I’ve wanted ye since the moment I saw ye at hospital. Yer the finest doctor I’ve ever met. Smart, witty, and beautiful tae boot. But more than that...ye complete me. I love ye more than any words, in any language, can properly express. Will ye say yes,  _ mo nighean donn? _ Will ye make me the happiest man in the whole universe? Will ye become my wife? Will ye marry me?”

Claire tried, and failed, to hide her tears. Not from sadness though, for once. Jamie got up and found a small wooden box from inside the closet. She could hear him rummaging through its contents, all of them sounding metallic in origin, until he smiled brightly and pulled out a small, worn, yet pretty silver band. He proceeded to get down on one knee and present it to Claire. She marvelled at it. The ring was clearly an heirloom, clearly worn by someone else before, and yet none of that tarnished its beauty. The smile on Jamie’s face certainly wasn’t dulled by it either; the ring was clearly special to him.

“‘Twas my mother’s ring. She wore it until the day she died. Da didna wanted her buried wi’ it. Thinkin’ it could be a ring passed down through the Fraser clan. I think...” Jamie took a deep breath. “I think my mother woulda wanted ye tae wear it, as she did. She’d think the world of ye, Sassenach.”

Claire slowly brought her hand out so Jamie could slip the ring onto her right ring finger. She smiled.

“So...” Jamie hesitated, his heart pulsing rapidly in his throat, “is that a yes?”

Claire looked up at him and smiled. “Yes. Of course, I’ll marry you!”

Jamie, despite being exhausted and probably stinking to the high heavens, grabbed Claire and spun her around the room, laughing in triumphant joy. Claire’s giggled mingled with his laughter. Then, the kiss they shared lingered and became as deep as their love for one another.

“Come, Sassenach. We can discuss all the details later. I dinna ken about ye, but I am dying fer a good long sleep. Will ye join me,  _ mo ghràidh? _ ”

Claire didn’t need to say anything. Both of the stripped down and climbed into his bed together. They remained in a firm embrace, Jamie cradling Claire in his arms, Claire’s head right over Jamie’s heart, as they drifted off to sleep.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Many things change for the newly-married Frasers, some good, but also bad.

* * *

Claire and Jamie were never too far away from their mobiles, exchanging love-filled messages of wedding plans. Jamie would ask for her input about things he needed to be involved in, and Claire wouldn’t stop pestering him about honeymoon destination. Not that Jamie minded the slightest bit.

_ <<<what about Paris? _

**>>>Paris, eh?**

_ <<<yes! I haven’t been to Paris in so long. _

**>>>weel, my cousin Jared runs a wine business in Paris. We could visit him while we’re honeymooning.**

_ <<<how wonderful! So...Paris it is? _

**>>>Paris it is, Sassenach ;)**

Claire talked to Geillis, Mary and even Joe Abernathy, a fellow A&E doctor, about the wedding. Geillis and Mary were both single and Joe was married, so she felt it was a good idea to get input from both sides.

“Craigh Na Dun,” Geillis whispered in a dream-like state.

“Bless you,” Mary replied dryly. Claire snorted.

“I’ve heard of that place,” Claire said, “the fairy stones, right?”

“Och, aye!” Geillis’ eyes lit up, always eager to talk about Scottish legends. “There ‘ave been ballads and poems written about the stone circle atop Craigh Na Dun. Stories of faeries, witches performin’ ritual, even people disappearing through the stones, tae travel through time itself!

“The song about The Woman of Balnain is the most famous one, it is!”

“That’s a fascinating story, Geils, but what does that have to do with my wedding?”

“Och, that’s just the thing! Ye could wed atop the fairy hill! Aye, I’m sure Jamie would be smitten tae the idea! Just don’t touch the tallest stone, ye might end up in the past!”

Claire and Mary giggled at the thought, but Claire remembered seeing the standing stones at Craigh Na Dun once in a Scottish tour guide magazine and found them to be very beautiful. She whipped out her mobile and immediately brought the idea to Jamie.

**>>>That is a fascinating idea, Sassenach! Quite the legend CND is. Ye thinkin’ it as a backdrop tae an alter?**

_ <<<yes, well, it was actually Geillis’ idea. I...I really like it. What better way to marry a Scot than to do it behind an actual Scottish legend? _

**>>>Aye...I like that idea too, Sassenach. Give my fellow Scottish ginger a pat on the back fer her clever wit :P**

Claire smiled down at her phone and got up to finished doing her rounds with her patients, the broad smile never leaving her face.

Meanwhile, Jamie and his uncle Dougal were discussing who would be in the wedding on his side. Rupert had the night off so Dougal was Jamie’s partner.

“I imagine yer godfather Murtagh will be there.”

“Weel, aye, I’d hope so, Uncle. I asked him tae be mah best man, and he accepted.” 

“Ah, good, good. Dinna ken about mah brother, but ye can count on me bein’ there, lad.”

“Actually,” Jamie said, “I want ye, Murtagh and Colum tae be at my side, as weel as Rupert, Willie and Angus. Claire is working on bridesmaids, as weel as a maid of honor.”

“I can speak wi’ Colum, but dinna be too let down if he decides tae be in the weddin’ itself. Gettin’ harder and harder tae stand on his own. And stubborn idjit refuses tae use his cane, despite yer Auntie Letitia’s insistence.”

“Just as weel,” Jamie sighed, worried his uncle wouldn’t live to see the day he became a father. Jamie was desperate to keep what little family he had left, and Murtagh, Colum and Dougal were the closest things he had to father since his own’s passing.

They were about to discuss more on the subject, but tones dropped. So instead, they grabbed their gear and headed towards the ambulance.

\---

Despite their hecticly busy schedules, Claire and Jamie somehow managed to plan the wedding down to the most specific details. Jenny was a huge help in organizing things with the church, the flowers and catering, which would just be her and Mrs. Crook cooking and serving the reception at Lallybroch. Jamie wanted his ancestral home to play a part in the wedding, but he didn’t want to get married there. Claire let him make that call.

The night before the wedding, Claire stayed in one of the main bedrooms at Lallybroch, bunkering close by her bridesmaids Geillis, Mary, and Gail Abernathy. She chose Geillis to be her maid of honor, something the woman wouldn’t ever let anyone forget, for sure. Jamie, along with Dougal, Murtagh and Rupert, were staying in one of the cottages in Broch Mordha. Willie and Angus weren’t able to attend the wedding, but sent the soon-to-be newlyweds wedding gifts in their places.

As dawn crept up along the Scottish highlands’ horizon, Claire decided she’d had enough of trying to sleep. She couldn’t make her restless mind relax long enough. She threw on her robe and wandered down to the kitchen. She thought she was the first one up, until she saw Ian sitting at the table. He was wearing a pair of basketball shorts and a loose, worn Scottish football jersey. The gleam from Ian’s prosthetic leg could be seen from underneath the table thanks to the sun starting to peek through the large bay windows of Lallybroch’s kitchen.

“Didna think anyone else would be awake at this hour,” Ian smiled as Claire poured herself a cup of coffee.

“I could say the same thing, honestly,” Claire took up a seat beside Ian, and Ian noticed her eyes drift towards his metallic leg.

“It doesna bother me much, but it aches a wee bit towards the end o’ the day. If I’ve been standin’ and walkin’ too much, ‘specially. I try tae sit as much as I can, sae I can rely on pain meds less an’ less.”

“Have you tried gelder rose or water pepper?”

“I’ve no tried the water pepper, no,” Ian replied with a shake of his head.

“I’d be happy to make some for you.”

“I didna think an A&E doctor would ken such unconventional medicine.”

Claire smiled. “Before I went to medical school, I had a rather obsessive take on herbology. Still do, kind of. But I’ve been so busy at hospital, and then of course...” she let her sentence trail off.

“Jamie does have a way about him, does he no’?” Ian chuckled. Claire blushed. “Dinna fash yerself. Jamie doesna concern himself with those he feels aren’t worthy o’ his time. It’s why his circle of friends and family are limited. He always said, ‘When it comes tae friends, I prefer quality o’er quantity,’ and he’s never given anyone any doubt that he’s changed that belief. Since he’s about tae make ye his bride, yer about tae become the most important person in the world. The most worthy o’ his time.”

\---

Claire and Jamie made quick work of wedding planning and a month later, the two of them were exchanging vows in front of the tallest stone at Craigh Na Dun. Claire donned on a simple, cream colored dress that fell just below her knees with three-quarter lace sleeves. She wore her normally untameable hair in a half-up-half-down braided twist with a few forget-me-nots twisted around the braid. In her hands, when they weren’t being held by Jamie, held a small bouquet of forget me nots surrounded by small sprigs of baby’s breath, tied together with a white hand-woven thread. She wore a pair of cream colored flats, which she’d had for many years and felt would go perfectly with her dress. Plus, they were comfortable and the walk up the hill definitely required such footwear. 

Jamie was in a rarely-seen full Scottish Ambulance Service regalia. A clean, pressed white long-sleeved shirt was worn underneath a dark green tartan tie and matching tartan jacket, which held a few of his award medals over the left side of his chest. A swath of tartan flowed across his right shoulder and draped slightly down to the middle of his back, creating a bit of a cape. Instead of his work pants and black steel-toed combat boots, he wore a brand new, freshly dry-cleaned dark green tartan kilt with a sporran bearing an enlarged version of the Scottish Ambulance Service logo, the same one that is on every ambulance in its service. To complete the look, he wore dark green stockings that peeked about an inch above black knee-high leather boots.

“I, James Alexander Malcolm MacKenzie Fraser...”

“I, Claire Elizabeth Beauchamp...”

“Take thee, Claire Elizabeth Beauchamp...”

“Take thee, James Alexander Malcolm MacKenzie Fraser...”

“Tae be my wife...”

“To be my husband...”

“Tae love, honor, and protect...”

“For better or worse...”

“In sickness and in health...”

“From this day forward...”

“‘Til death us do part...”

A roaring sound of whoops and hollers followed Jamie kissing Claire, sealing their marriage indefinitely. Neither of them could help themselves as Jamie grabbed Claire’s face and kissed her furthermore and deeply. Claire didn’t hesitate to return the favor, practically breathing for the young redheaded paramedic.

_ Her  _ paramedic.

\---

The following morning, after a lively reception at Lallybroch, the Frasers packed their bags and headed to Paris, looking forward to lavishing in the two weeks they would spend celebrating their new marriage.

“So, I want to make a deal with you,” Claire said as she and Jamie were getting comfortable in the penthouse suite. Jamie eyed her suspiciously.

“Oh aye? And what’s that, my Sassenach?”

“Let’s be spontaneous. When we wake up tomorrow morning, whatever it is we feel like doing, let’s do it. Whether it’s spending all day at the wax museum or watching overpriced pay per view and eating equally overpriced room service food all day.”

“Okay,” Jamie said slowly, formulating a response with a finger tapping his lips, something Claire found amusing. “But what if ye wanna do somethin’ that I dinna wanna do?”

Claire blinked, took a breath, then said, “rock paper scissors?”

“Best two out of three.”

“Deal.”

“Deal.”

When Claire held out her hand for Jamie to shake, a cheeky smirk crossed his face as he gently took hold, only to pull her into his embrace with a squeal from her lips and a chuckle from his body. When Jamie brought his warm lips to Claire’s, her body melted into his.

When Claire opened her eyes again, her new husband’s were blown wide with overwhelming lust, the usually bright hues stretched to a thin circular line. She felt something sinister and lovely stir deep in her belly, and she reached to fist a handful of Jamie’s hair.

“Weel, Sassenach,” Jamie purred, grabbed her arse. “I can think o’ a way we can spend the evenin’...”

Claire hummed seductively. “Take me to bed, Mr. Fraser.”

“As ye say... _ Mrs. Fraser _ .”

The motions of pleasure starting to course through Claire intensified as Jamie spoke her new name. Slowly, Jamie walked Claire backwards towards the plush, king-sized bed. With a gentle push, Claire was on her back and Jamie was situated on top of her. He pulled his shirt off, but Claire stopped him as he attempted to remove the belt holding his jeans in place, his intentions slowly clearly through the denim material.

“No,” Claire whispered. “Allow me.”

Jamie sat up on his knees as Claire slowly took his belt off, then teased him by sliding his pants down his thighs, eliciting shudders of desire visibly from him. Her fingers snaked their way up his belly, then his chest, and settled over his pulse point. Feeling the rapid beat beneath her fingers only heightened her need for him. Her  _ want  _ for him.

Jamie brought his hand to settle over her fingers and the other found its way towards her own clothes, deciding she had entirely too much on. Using both hands, he dragged her shirt up over her head and unclasped her bra from underneath her. He took in the sight of his wife, not breathing.

“ _ A Dhia, _ ” he finally breathed as Claire’s hands were making their way down towards his boxers. “Yer a goddess in her own right, Sassenach.”

A single finger from his hand circled one of her breasts and his mouth zeroed in on hers to silence her whimpers, the action causing them to love on each other harder and harder. Jamie finished undressed the goddess that was his wife, while she was completing her own undressing tasks, and the moment his body became one with Claire’s, time stopped. 

Jamie took his time worshipping Claire’s fair body. Her moans and squeals of ecstasy damn near tipped him over the edge a few times.  _ Nae,  _ he thought as his movements increased in intensity,  _ I canna go just yet. Her contentment needs tae be met ‘afore mine! _

“J-Jamie!” Claire groused as she burrowed her nails into the meaty flesh of his hips, feeling them contract under her grip.

“Dinna fash yerself,  _ a ghràidh, _ ” Jamie whispered sweetly, panting in sharp breaths as he felt his release drawing near, propelling himself further to meet her core, “I will take care o’ ye. Always. Yer mine,  _ mo nighean donn.  _ Mine! Now and forever.”

Claire felt herself starting to unwind internally, the fleeting ferocity of her harmony growing in strength. Jamie wasn’t too far behind her, and together, as one, they unionized their love for one another with eager roars of succulent euphoria. Then it was nothing but hushed breathing and the feeling of both their hearts slowing down from the exhilaration.

Neither bothered to get dressed, neither bothered to clean themselves up. Jamie wiggled the blankets and comforters out from under them and tucked himself and Claire into bed, caressing her face and hair as she fell asleep to the sound of his soothing, restful heart.

\---

The Frasers held true to their bargain. Every morning for the two weeks they were in Paris, they would wake up and enjoy a lavish in-bed breakfast with the large velvet curtains drawn to let in the Parisian sunlight, maybe watch something on the telly while eating, and then they would describe what they wanted to do that day. Some days they wouldn’t see the inside of their hotel room until long after nightfall, filling the day with guided bike tours, eating lunch or dinner on a local cruise ship that traversed the coastal French waters, or play tourists and visit one of the many museums Paris had to offer. And some days were spent lounging around in each other’s arms ordering overpriced food to be delivered straight to their bed while watching garbage French television shows or laughing at comedy specials on the hotel-provided Netflix. Fortunately, both Jamie and Claire spoke near perfect French so no subtitles were needed.

It was a sad, rainy day when they left the warmth and carefree environment of France and returned to Scotland, which was raining even more so than Paris. Not that it surprised either of them; rainy days were the norm. Each of them returned to work rested and ready, eager to continue plying their trade as medical professionals. Over the course of a month, Claire and Jamie picked the perfect house in between both their workplaces and moved in. A sprawling two and a half story, three bedroom, two bathroom converted farm house with a few acres of land to do whatever they wanted with. Jamie’s old BMW parked underneath the broad carport beside the house. They rearranged their work schedules so that Jamie could give her a ride to work, and they could go home together. Because of this, Jamie now worked 12 hour night shifts that coincided with Claire’s night shifts at Raigmore A&E.

Though even that didn’t last long. Jamie picked Claire up from work one morning and when they got home, there was a brand new Fiat sitting next to the empty space where Jamie’s BMW always sat.

“Surprise, Sassenach!” Jamie exclaimed at Claire’s gasp of shock, handing her the key fob to the bright blue machine.

“Oh my God, Scotty!” Claire laughed and barely gave Jamie enough time to put the car in park before she bolted out and went to examine her prize. “Did Christmas come in time for my birthday?”

“Nah, but I figured since yer birthday is in two weeks, I’d get ye yer present a wee bit early. Do ye like it?”

Claire hit the button to unlock the doors and flung herself into the driver’s seat. The sleek, black leather of the interior still had that new car smell. All the features and knobs looked like Jamie had shined them before picking her up from work. But the car wasn’t the only surprise. 

There was brand new, top of the line stethoscope hanging around the rearview mirror’s mount. Claire took it off and examined it further, noticing an inscription along the diaphragm.

_ Dr. Claire Beauchamp Fraser, MBBS, MFPM, MD _

Claire’s eyes watered at the sight. All the hard work she took on, all the hardship and burden of getting to where she was today, all of it could now be showcased on a tool that symbolizes her chosen field and enabled her to heal.

“Ye told me yer old scope was starting tae fall apart and didna always work when ye needed it tae. So...I made a few calls. Had this one hand engraved fer ye.”

“Are there any other surprises? Am I going to go inside and find you replaced all the sitting room furniture?” Claire smiled.

“I could have, but then we’d be broke,” Jamie mused, causing Claire to laugh more.

His smile broadened as he kissed her on the cheek and whispered. “Happy birthday, Sassenach.”

\---

“We could have a house full o’ bairns here, Sassenach, and never worry about no’ havin’ enough room fer them,” Jamie said one night in bed, Claire’s head taking up her usual spot on the left side of his chest.

“That we could,” Claire said with a satisfied sigh. “We could get a dog too.”

“A dog?”

“Yes. Why? Do you not like dogs?”

“It’s no’ that...just figured we’d have a bairn first, is all.”

Claire laughed, settling herself further into his embrace as they drifted off to sleep, the nighttime sounds of the Scottish highlands lulling them to sleep.

Three months later, though, things were about to change.

“Yer about seven weeks along, Mrs. Fraser. Congratulations!”

Claire clutched the glossy, black-and-white pictures of the blimp currently swimming in her womb, excitement coursing through her. She couldn’t wait to tell Jamie. She called him and told him to come straight home after work.

_ “But I thought I was tae go to the market. We’re out of quite a few things, my Sassenach.” _

“Believe me, it can wait, I promise you.”

_ “What are ye up tae, Claire? Ye hit yer heid o’ somethin?” _

Claire laughed. “I promise you, I’m perfectly fine. Speak to you soon, love you!”

_ “I love ye too.” _

\---

Claire thought Jamie was going to throw her out the window with how much he was spinning and swinging her around. He teared up so much over the ultrasound pictures that some of his tears ended up on the silky pages. Claire didn’t mind. She was just glad he was over the moon excited to become a father.

He went with her to every appointment, every ultrasound, every check up. Like any excited, expectant father, Jamie cried when he heard the baby’s heartbeat for the first time. His eyes were glued to the ultrasound machine as the tiny figure of a baby fought against the probe on Claire’s ever-growing belly. He even went out and bought a frame for one of the profile ultrasound pictures and hung it on the wall in the room that would be the nursery. Laying in bed one night, about five months into Claire’s pregnancy, he felt it.

“Was that the bairn?” Jamie startled, pressing his hand firmer against the side of her stomach.

“Yes,” Claire whispered, moving Jamie’s hand to where she believed the baby’s foot was. A harder kick against it caused Jamie to gasp. “Baby’s been doing that a lot more lately. As much as I love feeling it, it would be nice if wee one wouldn’t kick my bladder so damn much.”

Jamie chuckled as he laid his head against her belly. He spoke softly in  _ Gàidhlig,  _ then switched to English before they both fell asleep.

“I canna wait tae meet ye...”

\---

Claire would’ve been happy to actually enjoy her night off, but when her mobile rang at 4am signalling some grand emergency that needed every available A&E doctor in Inverness, Claire begrudgingly got out of bed, found her scrubs and quietly dressed as Jamie continued to sleep soundly.

After putting on her shoes and grabbing her coat and car keys, she walked over to Jamie and silently kissed him on the temple before setting out to work.

Whatever was waiting for her at Raigmore Hospital would never greet her. She didn’t have time to react as a tractor trailer going too fast turned the corner and struck her little Fiat on the driver’s side, sending the car off the road and into a deeply dug ditch. It settled on its roof, leaving Claire trapped and clinging to life.

Nobody would come for Claire for several hours as dawn rose and revealed a gruesome sight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey so in case anyone cares, I post all my fics to my tumblr and that's the best place to find me to chat! Come bother me on my blog, lallybrochloser :D


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the part where you come to regret ever having known me or my work. I'd apologize but I'm not sorry.

* * *

_ “Madam? Madam can ye hear me?” _

_ “Och, she looks familiar.” _

_ “ _ A Dhia, _ o’ course she does. That’s Fraser’s wife. Were ye no at the weddin’?” _

_ “We all were, ye dolt. Jamie invited all of us.” _

_ “I couldna make it, ye ken that!” _

_ “Enough, ye fools!” _

_ “Mrs. Fraser! Can ye hear us?!” _

_ “Pulse is rapid, weak.” _

_ “Claire!” _

_ “No’ much of a blood pressure either.” _

_ “Lads, let’s get ‘er out of here. She’s bleeding somethin’ bad!” _

_ “She’s wi’ bairn, mate!” _

_ “No’ for long if we dinna get her out o’ here! She’s at high risk fer miscarriage. Let’s move!” _

\---

Jamie managed to sleep most of the day away. It wasn’t his intention.  _ Musta really needed it,  _ he surmised. He barely remembered Claire leaving early this morning. Something about an emergency she was called to. He imagined she wouldn’t be home anytime soon.

He grabbed his mobile, anticipating a lovely message or something akin to an update on where his wife was. 

But that wasn’t what greeted him.

17 missed calls.

13 text messages.

10 voicemails.

“What the devil?” Jamie asked aloud. He didn’t get a chance to even open the first text, or see who had blown up his phone, as there was a loud knock at the door.

He grabbed a pair of Scottish Ambulance Service issued PT sweats and an old Royal Navy t-shirt ( _ not his, a friend gave it to him _ ) and made his way to the door.

The last people he expected to be ringing him, Dougal and Rupert, were standing just before the threshold. And neither of them looked like they wanted to be there.

“Lads,” Jamie yawned. “What’s goin’ on?”

For a moment, neither man said anything. When Jamie looked at his uncle... _ had he been cryin’? _

“Ye need tae come wi’ us, dear nephew,” Dougal said mournfully.

“...why?”

“It’s Claire, cousin,” Rupert replied with equal measure of hurt.

“What about her? Where is she? Is she alright?”

Again, neither man said anything. So Jamie repeated himself. With gusto.  _ “Is. She. Alright?” _

“There’s been a crash, mate. Ye need tae come wi’ us. There’s only so much we can tell ye from here,” Rupert said.

Jamie’s heart dropped. He didn’t remember much of the ride in the back of the ambulance to Raigmore.

\---

He couldn’t feel his body.

He couldn’t feel his heart breaking at the sight of his wife looking so broken herself.

He couldn’t feel his spirit fleeing his being.

He just...existed.

Numb.

He couldn’t even bring himself to cry.

_ Why can’t I cry? _

Claire was in the maternity ward’s intensive care unit. Life saving and life monitoring machines were staged throughout the room. The sound of her heart beating slowly came through on the monitor, Her breathing was also being monitored as tubes and wires stuck out around her face. Jamie was thankful she didn’t need a ventilator. 

_ “She suffered massive internal bleeding,” Dougal told Jamie in the A&E. _

_ “And the bairn?” _

_ Dougal avoided his eyes. _

Jamie knew how all of these machines worked. Knew how to fix them when they broke, and he knew what to do for each warning that could have sounded, indicating there was a problem. As a senior paramedic, he was well trained and educated in the art of saving lives.

But, as he sat there, watching the love of his life slowly fade away from him, he knew if any of those warning signs he’d been trained to spot and handle came up, he wouldn’t be able to save her.

He wouldn’t do anything.

Why not?

_ Numb. _

_ “What o’ the bairn?! Uncle!” Jamie’s voice all but broke right there. And the deepening sorrow on his uncle’s face only confirmed his fears. _

_ “There was significant trauma, lad, in addition tae the bleeding. Bairn was born prematurely. But...” _

_ “Where is my child?!” Jamie cried out, grabbing his uncle by his shirt collar, hot tears streaming down his face. “Do ye even know the sex? Am I the father of a wee lad or lassie?” _

_ Dougal allowed his body to shed a tear, but didn’t break eye contact with Jamie. “A lass, dear nephew. A wee lassie fer ye. Och, Jamie...she was sae bonny.” _

_ Was. _

_ Oh my god... _

“Mr. Fraser?” 

Jamie didn’t bother looking up until a small hand came to rest upon his shoulder. The young woman, a nurse, attempted to get his attention again. 

“We brought ye the bairn...ye ken...before we...weel...she’s passed on therefore we need tae start-”

Jamie stood suddenly, startling the poor nurse, holding a swaddled bundle.

Jamie’s entire world stopped spinning. He looked down at the woman for the first time. She had strawberry blonde hair coiled up in a bun atop her head, freckled cheeks adorned pale skin, and her scrubs featured animated lilac colored heather blooms.

Then, he saw his daughter.  _ Their  _ daughter.

“Ye can hold her, sir.”

Jamie reached out slowly to take the wee-un out of her arms. He didn’t hear her tell him he could “take all the time he needed,” nor did he hear the door closing quietly behind her.

Jamie studied the lost joy he could’ve had. They said it was a girl. Dougal was right.  _ Sae bonny. Sae beautiful. Just like yer mam. _ She had ten fingers, ten toes, the most adorable button nose, and the faintest whiff of Jamie’s red hair adorned the translucent crown of her head.

But her eyes were closed and swollen. She had a blackened, blistering knot where her hairline would’ve been. She wasn’t breathing. And she was  _ cold.  _ So cold, that her lips had already turned several shades of blue and dark purple. She didn’t move in the slightest like newborn bairns were supposed to.

As Jamie sat back down next to Claire’s own unmoving form, he didn’t take his eyes off his little girl. He reached out to caress the wee-un’s cheek.  _ Och, she’s sae soft! Sae delicate. _ The peach fuzz on top of her head was so fine, Jamie was afraid if he touched it too much it would fall out. He dug around inside the swaddle to find a tiny hand, and it was so wee that his forefinger was too big for it to fully grasp. But he managed to touch the inside of the bairn’s palm.

The tenderness of the skin there was too much for Jamie to bear.

There was nothing to stop him now. He broke.

Fat, swimming tears covered his face within a minute. He didn’t lower his voice as sobbing wails filled the room. He could be heard from everywhere in the entire maternity ward. He held the child so close to his chest were she alive she could’ve been smothered, his heart racing just over her ear. His mind foolishly believed if the child could hear his heart from the afterlife, maybe she would realize her father needed her and come back.

A foolish thought, indeed. 

Jamie’s sobs prevented him from even realizing the nurse had come back and removed this child from his arms.

“Mr. Fraser?” The nurse asked timidly. “What be the child’s name?”

Jamie sniffed, wiping his nose and eyes with his sleeve, but without missing a beat, he said, “Faith. Faith Claire Elizabeth Fraser.”

“That’s a bonny name, sir. I’ll see tae she’s taken good care of.”

Jamie didn’t hear her, didn’t hear the door close once more. He curled up against the edge of Claire’s bed, held her hand, and continued to drown himself in his own tears until he passed out from emotional exhaustion.

\---

Dougal came in at some point in the night. Jamie was still asleep next to Claire, and Claire was still unconscious.

He took a seat on the opposite side of Jamie’s sleeping form and took one of Claire’s cold hands into his.

“I must express deep sorrow tae ye, lass. I’m sae sorry we werena able tae save yer bairn. Ye and mah nephew...ye deserve the world, ye do. Ye deserve things I canna give ye. That Jamie canna give ye. But...if yer anythin’ like Jamie, ye’ll get through this. Aye, this willna stop ye.”

Jamie snorted in his sleep before lifting a heavy head towards the sounds of Dougal’s voice. He blinked one bleary eye open.

“Uncle,” Jamie croaked, his voice weary from sleep and grief.

“Heya, nephew.”

“Any news?” Dougal blinked, Jamie went on. “I dimly remember the nurse taking the bairn away from me...”

“Aye,” Dougal said softly. “She’s been transferred tae the morgue. Ye’ll have tae sign some forms and choose how ye wish tae handle arrangements. But aye. She’s being cared fer.”

Jamie sighed and rubbed at his eyes.

“What did ye name her?”

Jamie cracked the first half smile in almost a day. “Faith.”

Dougal smiled warmly. “Beautifully chosen, lad.” He paused a moment, then looked Jamie square in the face. “D’ye blame me? Me and the lads...fer...no’ getting there in time...tae-”

“Nae,” Jamie said, his voice dark. “We know damn weel we canna save them all. It’s what we do fer the family that counts. And sometimes, that makes all the difference in the world. Claire told me that once.”

Dougal said nothing and got up to leave, but Jamie stopped him by reaching out to grab his arm.

Without looking at him, Jamie said, “dinna expect me into work anytime soon. I’m needed here.”

Dougal patted the hand that held his arm. “Dinna fash yerself, lad. I already put in paid time off on yer behalf. Take care o’ yer wife. We’ll speak again soon.” He made Jamie release his hand and he left.

\---

A week went by before Claire finally emerged from her unconscious state. At first, Jamie thought something was wrong with the way she started thrashing and moving, but the moment he saw her whisky-amber eyes looking directly at him, he fell to his knees and thank the Almighty above.

“ _ Mo nighean donn, _ ” Jamie breathed, taking her hand into his and kissing it. Her hands were living icicles in his own large, warmer ones. “Ye came back tae me.”

“I never planned on leaving,” Claire’s gritty voice startled them both. “I also never imagined ending up staying where I work.”

“Aye,” Jamie hummed.

“Jamie?” Claire woke up a bit more and noticed the most obvious part of her anatomy in recent months was gone. “Where...where’s our baby?”

Jamie’s heart all but stopped.

“Jamie?” Claire’s voice was desperate now, the tears starting to pool around the corners of her eyes.

“She was lost,  _ mo ghràidh, _ ” Jamie felt his own eyes water. “She was sae bonny, Sassenach.”

“...she?” Hope flitted through her gentle features.

“Aye,” Jamie breathed with a smile. “A daughter. I, erm...I named her Faith.”

“Faith,” Claire said slowly.

“Faith Claire Elizabeth Fraser. After ye,  _ mo chridhe. _ ”

Nothing held Claire back from sobbing now. Jamie climbed into the hospital bed, careful to avoid messing with any wires or tubes connected to his wife, and held her as she sobbed for her loss.  _ Their  _ loss. It wasn’t long before they were both crying.

After a while, Claire’s breathing slowed and calmed, Jamie never letting her go.

“There’s something else,” Claire eventually said, quiet as a mouse.

“What’s that, Sassenach?”

“My legs...I...I can’t feel them. Actually...I can’t feel anything from my waist down...I can’t move them at all.”

Horrific realization settled into the pit of their stomachs at the same time.

“Jamie,” Claire looked up at her Highlander husband. “I think I’m paralyzed.”


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jamie and Claire learn to cope with how different life is going to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter to go. The Epilogue! Currently being written. Thanks to everyone for their love and praise for this series! :D

* * *

Tests of many kinds were performed (_blood work, a lumbar puncture, several MRIs and CT scans, plus a special Myelography x-ray to showcase the spinal cord and brain_) to confirm that Claire was, indeed paralyzed from the waist down.

The damning diagnosis came after Claire had been in hospital for almost a month.

“The crash crushed the vertebrae around the lower lumbar region, around L4 and L5, though L1 through L4 have all been adversely affected,” Claire’s doctor said, pointing to the Myelography x-ray being used as a display for Jamie and Claire. Jamie was sitting next to Claire on her bed. “There’s significant degeneration around that portion of your spinal cord, which has unfortunately caused paraplegia. Given the nature of the injury, I’m afraid it is permanent and even with rehabilitation and the likes of physical and occupational therapies, there will be little to no full recovery from this.

“You also might have trouble controlling your bladder or bowels from time to time, and therefore I recommend a procedure that-”

“No.” Claire firmly stated.

“I’m sorry?” The doctor inquired.

“The injury itself can contribute to loss of bladder control, true, but the control of loo functioning doesn’t extend beyond the sacral region. Therefore, until I am relatively certain such a thing exists, I will not undergo colostomy. I’ve suffered enough and will continue to suffer as long as I live. Let me have some pride, please.”

In that moment, Jamie was so proud Claire had his name.

The doctor, utterly flabbergasted, just muttered his understanding and moved on.

With the help of colleagues and friends in the industry, Claire was set up with a motorized wheelchair and was discharged from hospital. A welcoming fanfare awaited her when her and Jamie made their way towards A&E. Geillis gave her a big hug.

“We’ll be rootin’ fer ye, lass!” Geillis said in her ear.

“Don’t think this will stop me,” Claire gestured towards her legs, which were bound and secured to the chair. “I’ll be back one day.”

“Never doubted it,” Geillis winked.

When Claire looked up, several of Jamie’s colleagues from the Scottish Ambulance Service were waiting for them. They all lined up, side by side, and gave Claire and Jamie a unanimous salute. Jamie returned it as Claire started blushing.

Dougal stepped forward. “We’re glad yer on the mend, Mistress Fraser. Our Lady Broch Tuarach.”

Claire smiled, tears coming to her eyes. Jamie wasn’t much better off; his wife was being honored in the same fashion old timer Highlanders were.

“Thank you Dougal,” Claire whispered as Dougal bent over to hug her. He stood up and patted Jamie on the back.

“What are ye doin’ here?” Jamie asked all the guys.

“Weel, unless yer wee auto has the capabilities tae transport yer bride home in her chair, yer gonna need a lift, aye?” Rupert grinned and waved a hand towards one of the ambulance services’ wheelchair vans.

Jamie chuckled. “Aye, aye I suppose yer right, lad.” He turned and leaned over to face Claire. “What do ye say, milady? Shall we go home?”

Claire nodded her affirmation. “Yes.”

—

It took some strong arming to get the wheelchair into the house, but Claire didn’t mind being carried through the threshold by her strong, handsome, Highlander husband. Like they were moving as newlyweds for the first time.

But once she was settled back into her chair, the crews had left and Jamie had left to buy groceries, reality set in.

She would forever need help with basic life needs.

She wouldn’t be able to shower again. It would be baths from here on out, and definitely not unsupervised ones. Not that she minded Jamie helping, but it was the significance of her independence being stripped from her.

She would always need help at the loo, in public and in private. She stood by what she originally told her doctor. Until she needed it, no more additional surgeries to aid in day to day life. She needed to see what she was and was not capable of doing on her own.

Getting in and out of bed, making food for herself, driving (_Oh god! My birthday gift, ruined and gone, I’ll never be able to drive again!_) all the little things that she spent her entire life taking for granted, gone in an instant.

And to top it all off, when she looked up at the fireplace mantle, there was a tiny urn placed in the center with a plaque next to it.

__ **Faith Claire Elizabeth Fraser  
Our Angel, Born Sleeping  
2019  
**

She began to cry. She hated that she cried sometimes. She was raised to be stronger than this, better than someone who cried over things that could not be helped or fixed. She didn’t know how long she cried for, but when Jamie came back, she found the warmth of his arms enveloping her sitted being a weighted comfort. The hushed praises of _Gàidhlig_ only further soothed her internal ire.

“Dinna fash yerself, a leannan,” Jamie whispered. “We will get through this. I willna leave ye be. We’ll do this together, _mo nighean donn._”

Claire turned her head to bring her lips to Jamie’s, a kiss that was a balm to her battered spirit and a pacifier to her tormented soul. Jamie was capable of healing wounds her heart didn’t know existed until that moment. She looked up at him and repeated the one word that matter now more than ever.

_“Together.”_

—

Over the next nine months, Claire worked hard with physical therapy and occupational therapy. She managed to regain some grip strength she’d lost, and she proved that she, in fact, didn’t need any bathroom help as she was able to go on her own and hold her own. Jamie, of course, was there every step of the way, made sure to encourage her at every therapy appointment, and even took notes on the recommendations the therapist gave. Jamie hired a few contractors to outfit their house to accommodate Claire’s wheelchair. Claire was fortunate their bedroom was on the first floor, so Jamie just had to move the little library they’d built up over time down to the living room, and he replaced the floor-to-ceiling bookshelves with ones that she could reach from her chair. He also built solid wood shelving in the kitchen so she could help with making meals. The shelves had a half flat top where they now kept their plates, cups, bowls, and cutlery so she could set the table.

One year after the accident, one morning while her and Jamie were at the dining room table sharing breakfast and coffee, Claire announced she wanted to go back to work.

“Are ye sure about that, Sassenach?” Jamie asked. He took a sip from his coffee cup, his eyes never leaving hers. 

“I am,” Claire confirmed. “I worked really hard to get to where I was before the accident. I never let anything keep me away from becoming a doctor. It’s been a full year now. Most of the things you used to help me with once I came home I don’t need anymore, you’ve fixed the house to accommodate my issues, and I feel like my knowledge on how to help people like me are being wasted by sitting at home all day! I need this Jamie. I need to feel useful again!”

Jamie smiled, got out of his chair and knelt before his wife.

“I’m sae proud of ye, _mo nighean donn,_” Jamie said. “Sometimes…I feel like I’m no’ doin’ enough tae help ye. I promise ye, on our weddin’ day, that I would always be here wi’ ye, fer better or worse, in sickness and in health. But tae me, it goes beyond that. I married ye almost two years ago, Sassenach. I hope I’ve no’ givin’ ye cause tae regret it.”

Claire bent down to kiss Jamie. He breathed her in, cupping her face into his hands, reveling in her warmth and beauty. When they broke apart for breath, they stared at each other.

“You could never make me regret marrying you, Jamie. Never.”

—

It took a lot of work and submitting of paperwork, but a month later, Claire was wheeling her way into the place where it all started. Raigmore Hospital A&E, her pride and joy. Jamie had since sold his little BMW in place of a van that could take her wheelchair and herself on the passenger side, therefore she could always ride in the car as Jamie’s shotgun. He would be dropping her off at work on his way towards the station, their schedules more or less realigning like they once did. Old faces welcomed her back with open arms, and new faces were excited to work with her.

If Claire thought she was going to have to work twice as hard to make up for her disability, she was sorely mistaken. Raigmore was one of the more accommodating medical facilities in Scotland, and pretty much everything she would ever need, from the computer stands to the ergonomic desks, to even the hospital beds with their remote control operations, were all in place long before she had her accident.

It felt so good to be once again in her element. Nobody treated her as inferior just because she couldn’t walk anymore. Nobody thought less of her because of her disability.

_I don’t have to worry anymore. I’m home._


	12. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One last final hoorah and thank you to everyone who's given this series so much love! It means so damn much to me! Onto the next one!

* * *

_ **10 Years Later**   
_

_“Are ye sure, Sassenach?”_

_“I’m sure. It’s been over a decade. I think it’s time.”_

_“Weel… ye ken I’ll always support any decision ye make. Whatever they are. Just don’ expect me tae retire alongside ye. I’m a wee bit young fer that.”_

_Claire chuckled. “You’re still in your 30s. I’d have to agree there. Besides, you’re not eligible for retirement for at least another decade. You have time.”_

_“Too right ye are, mo nighean donn.”_

And just like that, Dr. Claire Elizabeth Beauchamp Fraser sent in her paperwork for retirement. Technically, she was supposed to wait twenty years before being eligible. However, Raigmore had given her an early retirement package right after the accident that left her paralyzed and wheelchair bound. Despite her insistence on giving the money back, Raigmore’s Chief of Staff absolutely refused to take it. So, she stuck the money in savings in the event someone at the top decided to change their minds.

Now that money would be enough for her and Jamie to comfortably live off of for the rest of their natural lives. Provided nothing happen to Jamie’s employment.

The Frasers had seen a lot happen in the last decade. Jamie had earned two more promotions and now was a paramedic instructor and preceptor. Which meant he taught new incoming future paramedics in a classroom and out in the field. Jamie never believed he would be good enough to teach the next generation, but here he was, making a lasting impression on the younger classes. He still got out into the field to run calls when the need arose, but most of his time was spent preparing lessons, configuring skills stations for those needing continuing education, and grading online class assignments. His days were shorter though, which allowed him to come home to his bride sooner. No more 24-hour shifts for this Scottish medic.

Claire had also stuffed some great achievements into her work belt. Within four years of coming back to work, she had been promoted to Chief of Emergency Medicine, and she was the guest of honor when the hospital opened its new physical rehabilitation centre. She had tears in her eyes as she cut the ribbon leading towards the entrance. But being paraplegic wasn’t the only reason she was the guest of honor.

“We are please tae announce the name of this grand establishment!” Said a voice into the microphone.

When the red banner was pulled away, Claire knew if she was standing, Jamie, who was right beside her, would’ve had to catch her.

** _The Claire Fraser Rehabilitation Centre at Raigmore._ **

She could not stop the tears. Neither could Jamie. Claire looked up at him.

“Did you know about this?” She asked him.

“Aye,” Jamie smiled, “we all did.”

“Jesus H. Roosevelt Christ,” she cackled as she wheeled herself to a podium made just for her and made her acceptance speech. Or something like that, she really wasn’t sure what to call it. But given it was being named in her honor, after spending so much time recuperating from her own injuries, she was floored with humility and reverence. She couldn’t have been more thankful.

But now, here she was, about to retire, and she truly wondered what she was going to do with herself. She thought about volunteering at the rehab centre named after her, but that seemed too cliche. She considered getting into painting, like Jamie’s mother used to do, or maybe taking back up herbology. _Jamie had expressed a desire to build something just the other day,_ she thought as she signed the final documents and scheduled the mandatory retirement luncheon, _maybe he could build me a stand close to the window where I could grow herbs._

Six weeks after her retirement luncheon and all was said and done, Claire started her “wee herb garden,” as her loving husband called it. He also built her a table to cultivate and do things with the herbs. She decided to take a crack at making natural medicines.

This did two things. The first, it gave her something to do to alleviate post-retirement boredom. And the second, it helped her maintain her manual dexterity and fine motor skills. _It’s too easy to lose function in the hands following a spinal cord injury,_ she thought as she started crushing dried fungi with her mortar and pestle.

She also grew herbs that Jamie liked to cook with. Garlic, basil, thyme, rosemary, and oregano were the only ones she could think of on the top of her head. She made a mental note to ask Jamie when he came home from work.

“Ye’ve really got a knack fer this, Sassenach,” Jamie said over dinner one night, savoring the flavor of the dish he made for them using some of her herbs. “The garlic and rosemary were spot on! Ye ever think about openin’ an herb shop?”

“Quit one job just to do another? I think not,” Claire laughed, taking another bite of her food. She did have to admit it; she _nailed_ these herbs, growing wise. “I prefer to keep my herbology business just between the two of us. You can have a monopoly on my market.”

“Dinna ever think there was a question about that, Claire.” Jamie smiled, taking a sip of his wine.

—

_ **10 More Years Later** _

“Jamie, are you sure about this?”

“Sassenach, it’s been 20 years and I’m too old tae be doing this job anymore. Besides, it’s a wee bit late tae be askin’ me that now. The ceremony’s tomorrow night.”

“Fair enough. Though, despite my obvious biases, I think you look absolutely dashing in your 40s.”

“I’ll take yer biases any day o’ the week, mo nighean donn,” Jamie kissed the tip of Claire’s nose. 

After twenty years of service to his community and country, Jamie was notified of his eligibility for retirement. And he didn’t hesitate to take advantage of it. His eye sight, once as sharp as a hawk’s, had started to go so he needed prescription glasses to see. It was getting really hard to wear those glasses to do pretty much anything involving teaching. And he couldn’t wear them at night as it made his already ailing vision worse. His back was starting to bother him from years of repeated lifting and moving heavy patients, and despite Claire’s insistence on seeing a chiropractor, he was reluctant. _“No doctor can fix what’s been wearing out over time, Sassenach!”_ He stubbornly told her over and over again.

Plus…he just felt it was time. There’s a time and a place for everything. Retiring at 42 just seemed right. He felt he’d more than earned it, anyway. And no one would dare question it at this point.

“Are you ready?” Claire asked him at Jamie’s retirement party.

“Aye.”

“Go get em’, soldier.”

Jamie kissed his wife of twenty years on the cheek and made his way towards the podium. Not only was this his retirement celebration, but he was being recognized for his to Scotland and her people with the Ambulance Service Long Service Award and Good Conduct Medal awards.

Claire glanced around the audience around her and her heart lifted while at the same time pinged a tinge of sadness.

About a year after she returned to work as a doctor, Jamie received word that his uncle Colum, the same man who defended her honor and presence at Leoch’s Pub from Frank all those years ago, passed away in his sleep, his disfiguring condition finally claiming his life. Dougal wasn’t in a position to take over Leoch’s, so Rupert was asked to as the next in line MacKenzie man. As much as it made Jamie sad to lose his partner, he was also happy for Rupert. He would need something a bit more sustainable and safe given he was about to become a father.

Sadly, for Claire and Jamie, they were never able to have children again. Given Claire’s condition, Jamie wasn’t willing to risk it.

_“I can bear pain meself, my Sassenach. But I couldna bear yers. Would take more strength than I have.”_

As much as it pained both of them to never give it a try, Jamie and Claire made the best of the childless life they chose. And Jamie, at least, felt they had succeeded.

Both Angus and Willie, despite their constant bellyaching over the preposterous idea, managed to settle down, get married and have a few bairns of their own. Claire always offered to babysit for them, and those bairns eventually started calling them “Uncle Jamie” and “Auntie Claire,” just like Jenny’s kids did.

Claire saw Jamie embrace his uncle Dougal, who was smiling with tears in his eyes as he patted Jamie on the back. As a healthcare professional, Claire couldn’t help but look up to Dougal as the mentor he was, the same way Jamie always looked up to him. He’d become a regular fixture at their house. When Jamie was teaching or at the station on long nights, preparing for lessons or grading assignments, Dougal would come over and keep Claire company. He made a habit of cleaning places in the house Claire couldn’t get to, particularly the upstairs.

_“Had I’d known I would end up like this,” Claire told Dougal one day while he was drying dishes, “I would have insisted on a one story house.”_

_“Dinna fash yerself, lass,” Dougal beamed, placing the last dried dish on the shelf behind her. “Ye canna predict the future. Ye twa did the best ye could wi’ what ye had. And look at this place!” He gestured his arms outward. “Ye made a fine livin’ space out of it. I’m just proud my nephew has made ye sae verra happy. I can see it in both yer eyes, I can.”_

_“I’m glad you’re here, Dougal,” Claire said, wheeling herself closer to hold his hand. “You don’t have to be here. Neither Jamie nor myself have ever asked you to stay with me. You choose to. It means a lot.”_

_“Yer kin, milady. I made a promise tae Jamie’s mother ‘afore she passed that I would always look out fer the lad. She was my big sister after all. Jamie and Jenny are such great people. As are ye.” Dougal pressed a friendly kiss to Claire’s hand, and Claire smiled. “Ye’ll always have family here. Never ferget that.”_

“Good evening,” Jamie spoke into the microphone mounted onto the podium, bringing Claire out of her daydreaming. “I want tae thank ye all fer coming and wishin’ me a good send off…”

His speech lasted a good twenty minutes, but by the end, everyone was in tears and the shouts of applause could most likely be heard in Glasgow. But it felt like Jamie was only speaking to Claire. After all, his speech was mostly about her.

_“She made me the medic I am today. Her tenacity, her strength, her prowess tae not give up when times were tough. She’s an inspiration tae anyone struggling wi’ life. I’d like tae propose a toast.” Everyone raised their glasses and faced Claire, who timidly raised her own glass to Jamie, as if he were the only one there. “To my wife. Who’s always been there when I needed her. To her courage, her strength, and most importantly, her heart. For loving me through the good times and the bad. To Claire Fraser! Lady Broch Tuarach!”_

_“Lady Broch Tuarach!”_

_Claire looked him in the eyes as Jamie and everyone else drank their toast and said aloud, “Je Suis Prest.”_

—

Jamie and Claire didn’t stay too long at the party. Claire tended to tire easily and Jamie was eager to get her home and begin his first evening as a retired paramedic. The monthly retirement royalties wouldn’t start until next month, but he didn’t need money for all the things he planned to do with his wife.

They began their nightly routine. Jamie would assist Claire in getting ready, helping her change into her pyjamas and making sure her toothbrush was within reach, then he would go and change himself and pour a dram for the both of them.

“JAMIE!”

He raced back towards the bedroom, panic flooding his insides. _Did she fall? Is she stuck somewhere? Did her chair’s battery run out again? I swear I need tae call that damn company and demand they send me a new one. It’s the third time this month!_

A million thoughts, all of them damning, ran through his head as fast as his heart was hammering inside him. But when he skidded to a halt in the bedroom, the sight before him damn near stopped his heart. And he smiled.

“It’s a miracle,” Claire breathed.

She was standing.

**F I N**

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Let me know what you think :D


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